We are having a tough time right now with our oldest. He is so so smart. We know he has such this massive amount of knowledge and ability, yet everything comes out so jumbled and messy. Yes, as before we suppose a lot of it has to do with his Asperger's that he is so unorganized, and his handwriting is so incredibly sloppy, but these little things are starting to take effect in school and with what grades he's getting.
Yes, it's important to be neat and all that, but right now it seems as if he's getting so much more sloppy with his handwriting and everything. I know his teacher counts a lot toward neatness and organization if he remembers things or whatever, and it's started to count against him.
Another thing is a big part of school this year is that things are timed. It's like you can be smart but you must also be fast. (Maybe that's why his handwriting is becoming so much more sloppy because he's being rushed.) In math it is mandatory that they must pass off these minute and 30 second timed math problem sheets. I know it is important to get to know your multiplication tables down pat, but must you insist that they pass them off in a timed test and if not then fail? OK, so I don't know how much they are going to take off points wise, but it seems like this is a big part.
It's not just this, but a lot of things are all about time, and with our oldest who has Asperger's, his connection from brain to mouth or brain to hand is not as fast as the other kids and so he is lagging behind a lot.
Oh, and one more thing--you must show ALL your work for math problems, even if you do them in your head--if you get the right answer but didn't mark a little 1 next to the tens when working out your problem, then you will get points marked off.
This is incredibly frustrating to us to see such a smart kid go down hill in school because of these little nit-picky things. Yes, I agree it is important to get kids in the habit of doing all these things a little more quickly or to show your work if you're not understanding it, or to see later where you made a mistake, but he's not making mistakes, he's just getting docked points for things the teacher wants.
My husband and I feel very frustrated and saddened at times to see such a smart kid still not be able to show his full potential, and then on top of it, it's like he's being graded not for what he knows, but how he produces it.
When he was being diagnosed with this type of high functioning autism they were telling us how stunned they were that his intelligence and academic abilities were scoring so far off the charts that they couldn't even justify telling us how they compared to others. They mapped his IQ as "in the genius range". I promise I'm not bragging. This is what they said and what we have on paper as record from countless doctors and tests. But yet here we are with our #1 being so smart, and yet as we've said before---he'll never be able to show it.
I suppose that's how the world works though. You must be fast, you must do it "this way" or "that way", and this is the way to be successful in life. Is the world going to wait for a genius who might take an extra minute to answer a question or write a report?
My husband continues to ask for other options in schooling for our kids. He says they are just going to hate school and it's not going to be enough for them. It's not challenging enough he says, but just picky and busy with projects but not really new things to learn. I continue to wait it out. I hope things will be different once the kids enter junior high and can choose a little more what classes they will take. Husband says they won't last that long. Only time will tell.
Yes, it's important to be neat and all that, but right now it seems as if he's getting so much more sloppy with his handwriting and everything. I know his teacher counts a lot toward neatness and organization if he remembers things or whatever, and it's started to count against him.
Another thing is a big part of school this year is that things are timed. It's like you can be smart but you must also be fast. (Maybe that's why his handwriting is becoming so much more sloppy because he's being rushed.) In math it is mandatory that they must pass off these minute and 30 second timed math problem sheets. I know it is important to get to know your multiplication tables down pat, but must you insist that they pass them off in a timed test and if not then fail? OK, so I don't know how much they are going to take off points wise, but it seems like this is a big part.
It's not just this, but a lot of things are all about time, and with our oldest who has Asperger's, his connection from brain to mouth or brain to hand is not as fast as the other kids and so he is lagging behind a lot.
Oh, and one more thing--you must show ALL your work for math problems, even if you do them in your head--if you get the right answer but didn't mark a little 1 next to the tens when working out your problem, then you will get points marked off.
This is incredibly frustrating to us to see such a smart kid go down hill in school because of these little nit-picky things. Yes, I agree it is important to get kids in the habit of doing all these things a little more quickly or to show your work if you're not understanding it, or to see later where you made a mistake, but he's not making mistakes, he's just getting docked points for things the teacher wants.
My husband and I feel very frustrated and saddened at times to see such a smart kid still not be able to show his full potential, and then on top of it, it's like he's being graded not for what he knows, but how he produces it.
When he was being diagnosed with this type of high functioning autism they were telling us how stunned they were that his intelligence and academic abilities were scoring so far off the charts that they couldn't even justify telling us how they compared to others. They mapped his IQ as "in the genius range". I promise I'm not bragging. This is what they said and what we have on paper as record from countless doctors and tests. But yet here we are with our #1 being so smart, and yet as we've said before---he'll never be able to show it.
I suppose that's how the world works though. You must be fast, you must do it "this way" or "that way", and this is the way to be successful in life. Is the world going to wait for a genius who might take an extra minute to answer a question or write a report?
My husband continues to ask for other options in schooling for our kids. He says they are just going to hate school and it's not going to be enough for them. It's not challenging enough he says, but just picky and busy with projects but not really new things to learn. I continue to wait it out. I hope things will be different once the kids enter junior high and can choose a little more what classes they will take. Husband says they won't last that long. Only time will tell.
6 comments:
Hi Becca,
Have you caled to ask for a personal conference with Micah's teacher to tell her about your concerns and ask her how both of you can help Micah through this? Maybe Micah's Dr. would have some tips to help out?
Anyway, remember that some of the greatest minds in history did not do so well in the structured school system. Hopefully, however you can work out some ideas that will help Micah and keep him from being frustrated with school.
Well, I think that's all the time I can spend on the internet at work . . got to go now.
Love,
Dad
I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate the time and effort you put into writing this blog. I am also the mom of a gifted 11 yrs old boy and to read this post is like read about my son. Last year (5th grade) his math teacher and I sat with him many times in order to help him understand why it was so necessary to show his work and not just provide answers; his teacher told him that it was important for him min order to visualize his work step by step and for her in order to be able to give partial credit in case that the procedure was right and maybe there was just a mistake in the final part of the problem.
He also had a problem in being organized. His desk was a total mess and he was lucky that his teacher loved him so much that she spent some minutes almost every week helping him find his daily worksheets in that mess. In two opportunities he lost his tests, they appear days later in crazy places in the classroom both solved, both A’s . I understand your frustration about seeing his grades affected by what seems to be little details. It happens to us last year and it was frustrating for us and for him.
I also notice how you wrote in this post and at the bottom of your page a note about not being bragging… what is it with being a mom of a gifted kid and feeling almost like apologizing for this? I have felt the same way many times, when sharing about the passion of my son for reading or drawing, for having a 5th grader that reads at the level of a 9th grader. Or apologizing for my daughter (also gifted) that takes a huge load of books from the library every two weeks and the librarians (almost every time) laugh and ask with sarcasm if she “really” was able to read and understand all those books in only two weeks. Believe me I know you are not bragging and from a mom that faces some of the same challenges than you THANK YOU for sharing.
To be part of a family with more than one gifted kid is a challenge; I often describe it as living in a planet with not 1 but 3 suns (we have three gifted kids). But it is also a wonderful adventure.
Aymara
Get an IEP or 504 plan. Get a private psychologist and have them write up the recommendations. the school will want to make as few acommodations as possible. Good luck. My son processes slowly but is smart (ADD and anxiety) so I get what you are saying about the emphasis on timed things. The stress of it beeing timed produces worse results. The time to complete his "Fast Facts" for math has decreased over time due to the timed aspect of it. I am in the process of making sure his grades are not affected for how long it takes to complete or how messy his work his (also poor coordination.
I'm in tears right now. It feels like I'm reading about my own son. As he is only 8 the teacher in gr1 didn't do much about speed and now that he is in gr2 time is becoming a big problem. He never score under 90% but Friday he wrote his first math test and only completed 40%!! We live in the bushveld and the entire school(gr rr to gr7) is 65 kids. We're 3 and half hours from the city. I'm so scared this is going to ruin his future. Worst is even his classmates calls him slow but his teacher keeps on saying that he is a gifted child but he must work faster and not so sloppy. We went to a therapist in the city for a year now and R10 000 later there is no change in speed.
I have some great advice for you! If at all possible, home school your child. Our son, who is very smart and tests high when he is not timed, is 14 and is doing exceptionally well with his advanced studies. He has been home schooled for two years and it was the best decision we have ever made as parents. He is working at his own pace within a home school program and attends classes outside our home as well. Yes, he is socialized! He used to attend an "institution" a.k.a. school and was expected to work at a certain time, at a certain pace. Not every person can process at the same pace, but every person deserves a chance to reach their fullest potential with regards to education. There are many educational alternatives for homeschoolers, as it is becoming more popular and widely accepted. I hope and pray you will find the answers you are looking for. We only have one chance as parents to do the right thing by our children. Best wishes!!
I was your son, and now I am mother to a son who is just the same. Being a mother is the most important thing in my life, and what I consider the pinnacle of my achievements but I am also an artist, a musician, run several businesses solo and with business partners while working full time in a well paid management position for a well respected company who take full advantage of my genius. I tell you this not to brag but to assure you that, regardless of their teachers opinions, our sons will find or make their place in the world, I promise.
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