"He's Smarter than I am"

We met with the principal to discuss our concerns about our oldest's boredom in school. We told him the teachers were probably doing just fine, but the curriculum was below everything that he had already done in the old school. I know, I know, the other school was a full time gifted program, and we had chosen to bring him over to the regular school for a chance to have a social life, but really, it was way behind what he was doing.

It's nobody's fault. I didn't want to go in their blaming anyone for his boredom or anything. I did feel extremely guilty and kept complimenting the principal on the school and the teachers. The principal was nice and set up another meeting for us to meet with him and the school psychologist to discuss possible excellerated learning options or even possible grade "promotion" as they call it.

When we met with them I wasn't sure what I should be saying. How did I know if our son was really that smart, and how did I know where he should be in school? We had tried so many different things and he still wasn't fitting in right. He was either going to be completely bored with friends, or challenged but no friends. Which should come first? Social or academic? I felt like we have been on a teeter totter for the last 4 years. There is no real balance.

The school psychologist began looking at some of these old test scores from 1st grade and his performance results from last years state testing. Yes, he had scored in the top 10 percent of the nation in every single subject except for language, but was it really that great? This psychologist looks at us and starts saying well, if we skip him to the next grade, what's to say we won't need to skip him again 3 months from now, and then again, and again. I am looking at her in shock. What did she mean? Why and how could she be saying this when all she was looking at were a couple of testing results?

And then my husband looks at me and says, "He's a smart kid. He's smarter than I am."

What? "What!?" I ask him. What is that supposed to mean? How can our 9 year old son be smarter than a 33 year old computer programmer. I'm pretty sure my husband is pretty intelligent.

But he says to me, "He doesn't know as much as I do, but he is smarter than me."

What? How can this be, and how can he know this, and how can this principal and school psychologist think any of this by looking at a few papers? Can I not interpret these papers the same way they can?

They asked us to sign some papers to have him go through some testing and then they would get back to us within the next 2 weeks. We signed and so now we wait.

Of course I am worried.

What if they do all these tests and the results are that he's really not that smart and we're just a bunch of stupid ego boasting parents?

Or, what if he is somewhat smart and they want to skip him to 5th grade, but then he gets there and he fails?

Oh, why does this seem all so weird? I guess we will wait and see. Our son just keeps saying how he thinks he would have so much more fun in 5th grade where he could be learning new things everyday. I laugh and think, gee, why not just take the easy road? I'd be thinking, "Woohoo! This is going to be a piece of cake! I can just do whatever in class!" (OK, so I guess I was the slacker student.) But, no, our son insists on having new material everyday. Good kid. I just wonder what will come of this and worry for what we may do if it doesn't work either. We have tried so many things. What will happen next?

Troubles Arise in 4th Grade - School is Too Easy

We had felt good about our decision to take both our boys out of the full time gifted program and back into their neighborhood school. Our younger boy had already skipped a grade anyway. I'm sure he would be fine. Our older boy had such few friends, if any, and we really wanted a larger social circle for him. He was really smart, but so what if you're the smart kid in class. It might be kind of nice. So we thought.

School started things seemed really great. For the first time, our oldest son was coming home and talking of friends and interactions with them at school. He had friends! 2 or 3 friends! He was socializing with others! Now this was a great thing, especially considering his Asperger's, and the other kids didn't seem to think anything different. He finally belonged!

Our second son was loving school. They had already asked him to play the piano twice during lunch time for all the kids and teachers there. He was loving that attention and loved that he got to play outside with such a large group of kids as opposed to the small 22 kid group that he played with at the gifted school.

So we were happy. This could work out! But then we started noticing the homework that was coming home, and we began getting comments from our oldest.

Our oldest, a 4th grader had already done most of 4th grade math last year in the gifted program, and we figured it would be easy this year, but we were surprised by what we saw. He was bringing home assignments in basic basic addition and subtraction and when comparing it to his 2nd grade brother's homework, his brother's homework was actually harder!

Maybe it was just a review, I thought. But when he brought home a test on Chapter 2 Math and the questions were 4-0=? and 9+3=? and measure this picture with the already drawn ruler, I was shocked. This couldn't be 4th grade math, could it? Our oldest had done this work in 1st grade.

Now I want to state right out that his teacher has seemed great and she is probably a completely fine decent teacher, but the curriculum just didn't seem right. I began questioning other moms and even looking into what the kids in 5th grade were doing, and it seemed all mismatched.

I emailed the teacher and asked her about the curriculum. She agreed it seemed easy, but she said that was what they had as 4th grade math. She said she would bump it up a little to make it harder, but really, how much more can you bump up 4-0=? It would have to be bumped up a lot!

It was super easy, but what had me worried more was the fact that our oldest was coming to us and asking why it was so easy. He was telling us that he didn't understand why it was so simple and asking us why it wasn't harder. He said he thought he should be doing harder stuff.

So, what to do? It's not just the math, but the spelling words are all very basic, and grammar he's already done. He says he is pretty bored and wishes he could learn something new.

It is frustrating trying to figure out what to do. We tried regular school first. It didn't work. We went to the gifted full time program at another school. It was alright, but just so small socially, and not as conveniently located, and sometimes seemed like a little too much busy work and homework when it wasn't needed. He excelled there academically, but socially he was losing. So back we go to the regular school where he is excelling socially but losing with boredom academically. Where can we go now? We decided to set up a meeting with the principal to see what our options could be.

A Six Year Old's Writing

Yeah, he looks pretty little and cute, and along with his piano skills, our 2nd son is also a pretty good writer. For the last 2 years he has been making little "books" stapling papers together and writing stories. Now tell me, what 6 year old is writing stories with narratives and creating their own books?

I came across yet another "book" he was making. This one was a work in progress but as I read it I was surprised at how a 6 year old could actually put words into a story and be more than "My name is Joe. I like cars. The end."

"What Happened When I Woke Up" this work is titled. This is what he wrote so far:

Chapter 1 More Arms

When I woke up something weird happened. Every second I got more arms! It was so weird that I fell to the ground. In two minutes I had 120 arms! My mother fell to the ground when she saw it. She said "Oh my gosh!"

Chapter 2 Start the Search for the Cure

"What happened?" She shouted in a very very very loud voice.
"I don't know" I said.
"Then we must search for a cure right away." My mother said.

Chapter 3 Is There A Cure?

"But....oh yeah is there a cure? We are going to go around the world everywhere until we find it." I said.
"That's what I thought." My mother said.
"That's what I was going to say and we will never know there's a cure until we just look."
"OK, you're right."

Chapter 4 The Last Place to Look

-------

OK, so this is all he had so far and I guess it isn't the most fancy story out there, but it was pretty good for a 6 year old. I don't remember writing any stories when I was 6. We will have to see how his story ends.

The Big Decision

If you read the last post, then you see we have been having some mixed feelings about the full time gifted program that we put our kids into. Why can't schools have the resources for kids that are a little more advanced? It's not like they don't have the material. There are grades 1-6 in an elementary school, and so why can't a more advanced kid just do the material from that of an older grade?

I recently read an article weighing out the pros and cons of skipping grades. A couple of comments raised my attention. Someone asked why we have grades at all? Why do we have to trap students into grade levels by age or by birthday? Why can't we just group students in levels based on abilities? This would work especially for those that may be gifted in one subject, but struggling in another.

It makes perfect sense to me, but why don't we do that? You are never going to have a class of all 6 year olds who have the same abilities and knowledge. I know they passed this whole "No Child Left Behind Act" several years ago aimed at helping kids that were falling behind in the classroom, but it seems as if no one has ever figured out how to help kids that are ahead.

Sure, they have these gifted programs, but in our case there is one full time program that is at a school not close by and that does not offer bus transportation. So if you're going to go then you must figure out the driving.

Budget cuts forced all if any in school gifted pull out programs in our district to be ended and discontinued. That is sad isn't it? It's sad that there are hardly any music or art programs continuing in public schools today. It's interesting that in other countries, many schools focus highly in the arts.

So where does that leave us?

Well, after all our struggling over the past years with trying to figure out what is best, we made the decision to pull both our kids out of the full time gifted program at an away school and put them back into regular old public school in our neighborhood.

With this comes many feelings of guilt and worry. Is this the right thing? Did we mess things up? I don't think there will ever be a right place for our kids while they are young as far as schooling. I want them to be emotionally and socially happy as well as academically challenged enough to keep them happy, but these seem impossible to go together.

Before we were more concerned on the academics and letting our kids live up to all they can do and learn. Let them learn at their pace and not have to wait and be bored. But all the things it entails with driving to another school, not having friends, not knowing anyone, and then tons of homework just doesn't seem worth it to me.

Plus, why can't our kids just be kids? They will have a time for intense study, for intense stress and worry. Why give that to a 2nd and 4th grader?

Now our kids are in regular classes probably doing math they completed a year ago or maybe doing a lot easier things, but what can we do? We're not going to skip our 6 year old any more grades. We want him to be a kid! I suppose we could skip our 9 almost 10 year old a grade, but we don't have plans of that unless we are approached, and then we can make the decision.

So here we are on a different road. It will be interesting to see what happens. Our 2 boys started school this past Monday, and so far I am waiting to hear.

Stuck. Was This Really What it was Cracked up to Be?

Stuck. That's what we are. Stuck.

We started this whole full time gifted program for our oldest because he was so bored and miserable at school. He was far advanced than his peers and we knew he needed more to what he was doing in his school at the time.

We had our cute little 5 year old skip Kindergarten, throwing him right into this 1st/2nd grade gifted program also because he was at a level higher than his brother was at the same age.

We thought it would be good. Older brother seemed to love it the first 2 years. The teacher was great and she really let the kids learn things more in depth if they were interested.

Then 3rd grade happened and the teacher was different. It was more book reports, busy work, and tons and tons of homework. It seemed like she just wanted to see how fast the students could get everything done in a workbook. Our oldest came home everyday from school just hating school again and anything that went with it. His love for learning was gone. He was just so concerned with having to get everything done as fast as possible and there wasn't much time to go more in depth in things like in the previous years.

Now, I'm not there in the classroom, and I don't know exactly what goes on, but this is just from what my kids tell me. His teacher is a good teacher, her approach is just different. He will have the same teacher next year.

Now, younger brother does love it, and he had a great time his first year. I'm sure he'll have a great time this next year, but what happens after that?

Another issue we are facing is that in this program they are with the same group of kids for 6 years. The kids all test into this program and pretty much stay give or take a few drop out or a few test in at later grades. This can be a good, yet bad thing at the same time.

It's good that all the kids will know one another, but what about meeting new people? And what if they never quite find their niche in this group of peers? What if they don't really fit in or make any close friends? By the end of 2nd grade, if they haven't found a friend, then there isn't much chance of all the little friend groups opening up to include someone new.

We have found this with our oldest. Now, yes, he has Asperger's, and so social things come a little more difficult to him, but he still wants and needs to have friends. He is a good kid and he can have friends, but he has not found a very good friend circle in this program. He has maybe 3 people who he considers friends in the grade above him, but then the next year they move on to another class and a younger group comes in below him which he has no friends. He doesn't seem to have any friends in his grade level. So he is stuck the 2nd year of each teacher's class to being depressed and lonely.

Younger brother doesn't seem to have a solid friendship group yet, but I don't think he really cares or knows yet. He's loving school, but what if he doesn't find his place later?

And what happens when younger brother gets into 3rd grade into super busywork class and starts to hate school like older brother? Is it worth it?

So, what do we do?

I know older brother would be bored in a regular classroom, but he wouldn't be having the life sucked out of him, and in another school he would have the opportunity to meet new and different kids being that you don't always have the same teacher and sometimes they split classes for subjects. He already goes to church with some kids that go to the regular school. He would know some kids.

Younger brother I'm sure would do fine wherever. We already skipped him Kindergarten. I'm sure he would be fine and not be bored, but he seems happy at his brother's school right now and with his teacher.

And, what to do when sisters start school? At this point we have decided to start sister at the regular school when she is 5. I suppose if she shows some sort of super giftedness in that year that we might choose other options, but right now it seems easiest.

I think, what if we just got our 2 boys out of the gifted program at the other school after this next year and then all 3 of our school aged kids could go to the same school? Wouldn't that be easiest? And maybe the oldest would be bored, but I'd rather he be bored than learning to hate school and being depressed. Most things he learns from reading or watching science/math shows at home anyway.

But, here we are. Stuck. We've asked our boys repeatedly if they'd like to go to the regular school, and they tell us no. I think it is a more fear of change. And I suppose after this next year our oldest will have a new teacher for 5th and 6th grade, and maybe she'll have a more fitting teaching way for the way he learns. Maybe. Maybe not. I know I don't want younger brother's spirit to be crushed when he gets into 3rd grade.

Here's a picture of all our cute kids:

They look so happy, so full of potential. We want to do what is best for them to have a good experience academic and socially. The problem is figuring out what works best. We're learning that often having a gifted child doesn't pan out socially. What use is being smart if you don't have friends, or like learning, or feel accepted?

I guess we will start into this new school year and see what comes. I know we will be making some big decisions as the the next school year comes to an end, if not sooner.

Summer Math and Science Camp

Recently a gal came into my work wanting to put up a flyer advertising for a free Math and Science day camp. Free? This sounded a little too good to be true. I guess it is a private/charter school that is looking to attract new students, so sure, it was a free camp for a week.

I thought right away that my oldest would absolutely love this being that all he has been doing lately is watching the history or discovery channel. The only problem was that it was advertised for 11 to 15 year olds, and my oldest was only 9.

Hmmm.......he's smart enough. I know he would love it. So, off to camp we went this week. I told him if anyone asked him how old he was, that he was 11. Of course, my good honest son looked at me in confusion and said, "No, I'm not." And I thought. And then I said, "Well, just tell them you're smart as an 11 year old." And that was that.

After the first day I went to pick him up and the coordinator stopped me in the hallway. "So, is he home schooled?" She asked.

Hmmm......home schooled? I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an insult, like if that was a good thing to be or not, but she went on explaining she knew he wasn't as old as the other kids but he was so smart. She said he was in there right in the middle of the other kids doing 7th grade math and answering all the science questions as if he knew all the answers.

I guess she was just saying how she was surprised he was so smart in just a regular school setting. I told her he was in a full time gifted program, but actually when I think about it, he hasn't really learned all that he knows from school. Anything he knows is from reading or stuff he's learned at home. I know he's got that super memory where he remembers everything to the word of anything that he's ever read.

It is only day 2 of camp and he is loving every minute of it. Funny how math and science camp is the last place I'd like to be, but for my oldest one he is just in heaven. Experiments, logic, thinking, and problems are what he loves. I hope he continues to have this love and it takes him to great places.

Transitions? When to Stop Talking to your Child Like a Baby

OK, so I don't think we've really been too bad at talking to our children like they are babies. Yes, I admit I still say, "oh you got an owee?" or "no, that's ca ca!" to our 21 month old, but at what point does that stop?

We don't talk to our 4, 6, and 9 year old that way, but when did it transition?

The reason I ask is because I've seen a lot of baby talk out there to other children by their parents and the children are 5, 6, 7, and older. Does it matter? I'm not saying it is bad or good because I don't want all the ugly comments to come my way, but I will tell you what I have observed.

For instance, we will be playing at a park or a pool and another child, usually taller than my kids (no surprise there!) will come up and we'll ask him his name, how old he is, and what grade he's going into so my kids can relate more with them to play, and then we are surprised by what comes out. More often than none it might be a 7 year old who says, "My name Luke. I seven year old. My school is be done. Me gonna be first grade."

Now I'm really not sure how to react. I don't judge the kids like there is anything different. I actually think it is kind of cute, but I just wonder why they are still talking like they are so so young. I may meet the parents and more than less again these are the parents that are like, "oh Johnny, wow! You ARE such a BIG boy! Yes! You found a friend YES YOU DID! Johnny go play a little longer, Mommy and Daddy need to do this and then we can go home and go pee pee in the potty and nappie time."

OK, so I might be a tad exaggerating, but really, I am all for positive talk and enthusiasm, but some of these parents just sound so funny! Especially when they are saying it to an 8 year old! I often wonder if their children are talking the way they are because the parents aren't having normal conversations with them.

No, I don't think we need to discuss politics or problems of the world with our young kids, but I do think they can be mature enough to have a normal social conversation with normal words rather than adding an E to the end of it or making everything sound so cutesy all the time.

Once again, though, when do we make the transition? I always refer myself as "Mommy" and my husband as "Daddy". And I have a hard time talking to my youngest child saying "Mommy needs to go to the store" as opposed to when it's my 9 year old and I just say "I need to go to the store." And really, why do I talk in 3rd person anyway? I think it is a teaching tool in the early days, so that our young children can identify names and connect people with words. Ok, I'm just making this up as I go, but it sounds good.

It would be interesting to actually have some sort of study that showed how childrens' communication evolved depending on the communicative environment they were surrounded by.

As for now, I'm still Mommy, and I still think things are ca ca and I don't like getting owees.

6 Years Old, Finished with 1st Grade, Are We Ready for 2nd?

Well, our little 6 year old finished the school year. He's actually going to be in 2nd grade next year! How is that going to be?

It's been interesting to watch him this past year so small and so young in his classroom of 6-8 year olds when he started out as a 5 year old who was supposed to be just in Kindergarten.

How did he do?
Well, academically he was perfect. He had all good marks and scores.
Behavior-wise he was also great. His teacher raved at how much everyone loved him.
Socially he seemed alright. He told me he had some friends and I watched him with his classmates.

But now, the big question is developmentally, how is he there? This is the one that will take some time. Sure he is smart and creative and friendly, but then here is an about to be 2nd grader who just barely figured out how to tie shoes and not very well. He can kind of ride a 2 wheeler bike, but he still can't start by himself. He still likes Sesame Street and Elmo's World, and he is still pretty clueless to how the world is.

I know this was a big issue when we were debating skipping him Kindergarten, but I think he will catch up in the end. I see all he has accomplished this year in school and I can't imagine what he would have been doing still coloring pictures about the ABC's in Kindergarten. I've seen him along his classmates and he is still pretty far advanced than many of them in terms of reading, writing, and math. And these are the year older kids. I still feel good about what we chose to do. I know he absolutely loved 1st grade and is happy he went there.

Who is to know what would have happened if we left things alone and had him go to Kindergarten? We look forward to next year where 2nd grade seems so old to a little 6 year old. I hope things will be alright.

Out of anything, I believe his gifted abilities take a more creative focus. He was always reading and writing at a very young age being that he wanted to create stories and little mini books. He found such joy in piano when he could take his reading to teach himself to read music and play.

Also ending the school year, he had his first piano recital from only 2 1/2 months of piano lessons and he was spectacular. We couldn't be more proud. If you are interested in that, here is the video:

Stop Reading the Dictionary!?

So, recently I'm having a hard time getting the boys' attention or getting them to listen. And why, you may ask? Well, they won't stop reading the dictionary! Really, the dictionary! I don't know what is so exciting about the dictionary, but it must be so fascinating, that it is even causing wars between them.

They'll bring it in the van and then they are both fighting over who had it first and who was reading it.

Yes, the dictionary is following us everywhere. Into the stores and out on a walk.

I suppose this is a new thing. Before it was the brain teasers, atlases, and phone books that followed us everywhere we went. Alas, now it is the dictionary.

Our Little Piano Player

I don't often post videos on this blog, but we have talked about our little piano prodigy, and so we decided to add a video. He has now officially been taking piano lessons for 2 months. It is a lot of work being that mostly he is assigned finger exercises when he would rather just play songs, but we are seeing a difference.

We're so used to seeing him play that we take his gift for granted now a days. We have to keep telling ourselves, "Oh yeah, he's only 6!"



You can always hear all his latest songs if you go to his piano blog by clicking here.

Super Reader, Super Mathmatician!

OK, so funny picture above from a day I told our oldest to document "a day in his life" for fun with my camera, but really, I just wanted to post about what a super reader he is.

Our oldest is 9 years old in 3rd grade and he reads 200 words per minute according to some test thing his teacher does. (How they time that or make sense of that is beyond me.)

We recently went to his parent teacher conference where we got to see all these test scores and progress stuff. She says he was the only one in his class of both 3rd and 4th graders to score above standard on every single section of the state math tests. I was actually surprised that other kids in his class didn't score this high because it is a gifted class. I thought they would all score high.

Then she showed us the test they do on reading levels and I don't know why it was almost funny to me because they rate it on this line and his arrow was at the very end. But anyway, it said he scored 99% or higher than all other kids in the nation for his age in reading comprehension. It also gives you like a grade level to correspond with how well you read and it rated him as being equal to an 11th grader in their 6th month of school.

So, no, these things don't surprise me about him. The teacher seemed all surprised at how smart he is, but we're used to it I guess. Nothing surprises us with our oldest. We know he knows so much. Plus, you can never get a book out of his hands! It's that love of reading!

Allowing Creativity Amongst the Genius

Our oldest has always been the one with the incredible test scores, massive memory, super smart----we've always assumed he wanted to be a scientist when he grew up. I think this is what he even told us a few times. But recently he came home and surprised us.

At school they were having a discussion on hope. They wanted the students to tell what their dreams and hopes were, and how they would be able to reach their goal. He came home with a picture of a tree that showed the roots. He said the roots were who helped support him and then on the leaves was what his goal was.

Now, what do you suppose was on this tree? No, no scientists, world leaders, doctors, computer professionals, teachers, etc. Nope. His was "I want to be a Professional Dancer." Yep.

So, I showed this to my husband who of course freaked out, silly him! I pulled him outside while he proceeded to panic and ask what we could do to defer him from thinking this is what he wanted in life. Now, it's not what you're thinking. My husband has been very accepting of our oldest's love of dance and hatred of sports. It is not because he doesn't like it, but there were 2 concerns he had:

1-"How can he do that? He is still so awkward and a little uncoordinated, he's like me! Look at me! I'm a clutz! How can he be a professional dancer?"

and

2-"He's so smart. Why would he want to go into dancing when his mind is so genius? Wouldn't he want to use that?"

OK, now before we start getting ugly ugly comments on this blog post, I want you all to calm down. And yes, I told my husband to calm down, and good grief---our son is only 9! He is 9 years old, and if he wants to be a professional dancer, then let him have that dream! He is 9! And, how do you know he isn't going to get better at dance, or maybe his coordination will improve? He's only been dancing for a year. He's just started! You can't expect Billy Elliot in one year's time.

And, yes, he is super smart, but would going into a career in dance ruin that? Would it make his mind a waste? I don't believe that.

But here's to say---what happens to those kids that parents only let them focus on the academic and never allow them to experience the arts or music? If anything, I believe giving them a chance to develop their creativity through art, dance, or music gives them more and builds them up more as a person and allows them to be more developed and smart later.

Our oldest didn't just take up dance naturally like our second son and the piano, but that doesn't mean anything. Yes, some people have a natural gift for different things, and maybe dance isn't that, but he's doing well, and he enjoys it, and if he wants to work hard enough, then I believe he can do anything he wants to in life.

Maybe it won't pan out, and maybe he won't be that good to go professional, but as a parent, I'm going to be there to support him as long as he wants. But at the same time, we will also encourage his increasing knowledge and schooling in the academic fields as well. He can go either way. Who is to know what he'll want to do 10 years from now? I'm sure there are lots of parents out there who didn't freak out when their child told them they wanted to be "cowboys" or "race car drivers" when they grew up.

And just so you know, I like cowboys, and I think it would be awesome to be a race car driver too.

The Birds and the Bees

One problem of having a gifted child is their excessive need for reading everything. We have gotten them all sorts of books, but the ones they seem to want to read the most are the science books. In particular, our oldest likes to read nonfiction books, science books, or I've even caught him reading the dictionary. To me these are some of the most boring books, but he can't get enough.

We have volumes of science books and old childcraft books that are somewhat like an encyclopedia, and I'm sure he has read all 16 volumes beginning to end.

Now, we don't have anything that is of questionable material around our house, and we don't have any books that are inappropriate for children, but one day I was a bit worried.

We have pretty high standards in our house and somehow we were having an innocent discussion about what rules we have toward dating when you get older and how we are supposed to get married before you live with someone, and how we are supposed to be married before we have kids. Then out of the blue our oldest says something toward the extent of "I know because then the sperm fertilizes the egg to make a baby".

This was right before he was being dropped off at school, and since I was so shocked that a nine year old would even know these words, I didn't say anything and just waved him goodbye. After he was gone I frantically called up my husband and demanded to know what he could possibly know to which my husband said "huh?".

Later that night I pulled my oldest aside and asked him what exactly he knew about this sperm and egg thing he had told me about earlier. He then began this exact text book definition/explanation that you might find in a high school health class book about the human reproduction.

I asked him where he learned this, if he read it, or someone told him. He said he read it in one of his science books about the human body. I assumed he had read it being that he can pretty much retell word for word anything he has read. He has this kind of incredible reciprocating memory. Anyway, I asked him if he knew how this science explanation all happened, and he said not really, and I took it like he didn't really care.

So, that was that. No, I don't think we'll get into that discussion just yet. Nine years old is a bit young for me I think. He didn't ask me any questions and it's OK. I'm a bit relieved, but it's so true that he knows so much. Sometimes it scares me how much he reads and all he knows. Hopefully I'll be ready when the real talk time comes. I think I'll direct him to his father then.

Piano Lessons at the University!

Well, we have finally figured out things for our little piano boy. After all our wondering and searching, we decided to contact the University's department of music and get their opinion. We sent out a random email with some video links and we got one email back in particular asking us to meet with her so she could evaluate him and give her opinion.

We did some research into who this person was and found that not only was she director of several music programs as well as at 2 colleges, but she was also a concert pianist, child prodigy herself, and over the chamber of music concert series and had a long long list of many accomplishments and awards making her listed as "master class".

Yes, I suppose we were a little surprised that someone with so many credentials wanted to take the time out of their incredibly busy schedule to meet with some random people off the street to look at their son play piano, but we hoped it was for good reasons and that she really was impressed by him. So, we made the date and met up at the University to talk to her.

Now of course we weren't organized and forgot his sheet music and he ended up playing some random choo choo train song (only thing he had memorized at the time) for her while we sat in fear of what reaction we would get from such a weird little song. But after doing a little bit of music games with him and talking with him, she told us what she thought.

She said she will usually pick 1 or 2 new students at most a year to privately teach and she likes to start when they are young and that by the time they are old enough that they are exceptionally experienced and have the ability to apply to Julliard, and her students get in.

So as she proceeds to tell us all this technical and fancy stuff we are watching our son play with the piano keys and roll around on the bench and floor (remember, just because you are gifted, does not mean you are any more mature!) and we're trying to take it all in. She said it didn't matter what a student plays, like what song selection, but she knew right away that our son was quite gifted by the tone of what he played.

Well, all of this is pretty intense to our little world. We agreed to her as his private teacher, and he'll start next week taking lessons at the University Department of Music. We still can't quite digest it all, and it seems pretty overwhelming seeing a little 6 year old "go to college" in a sense, but we are incredibly happy and lucky that he has gotten this chance. He is very excited himself to have a real teacher. We'll have to see what comes of all this.

If you're interested in any video performances, we maintain a piano blog here.

Over Time or All at Once--Realization of a Gifted Child

I often wonder how you first notice that your child is different than other kids. How do you know if they are gifted? Is it all at once, like an overnight thing, or is it more gradual?

With our oldest, I didn't think he was super smart. He was learning ABC's and sounds and shapes all slowly and over time. He was 2 and telling me what letter made what sound, but I thought it was fine. When he was 3 and could memorize books to make people think he could read as he pointed to the words, I thought it was cute. And when he figured out reading at 4 I thought hey that's pretty good, but I never really thought he was all that more intelligent than any other kid.

It wasn't until Kindergarten that I realized he was more advanced. Or maybe he wasn't, but the teacher wasn't teaching anything close to his level. Sometimes I think there are a lot of gifted kids out there but they aren't challenged so they end up just going with the flow at the level they are given at school.

I suppose if it weren't for our oldest son's boredom and sadness over Kindergarten, then maybe we wouldn't have gone the route we had, and maybe he wouldn't have been challenged by us changing things.

As far as our 2nd son. It was all very different. We were always saying, "No, he isn't going to be anything like his brother". We didn't have quite the same amount of time to teach or help him to learn, and we noticed that he didn't pick up on things like his older brother did. That is why it was such a complete shock when he did show signs of giftedness. It seriously was an overnight thing.

One day he was just a little 3 year old not doing much, just playing and listening, but then the next day he was reading all the street signs and shortly after he was teaching himself to play the piano at 4.

Now where did that come from? I don't really know, and it was so weird! I don't like to compare my sons, but they are both so smart, yet so different in how they learn. Our oldest is so much more of a deep thinker, and seems to know everything, yet our younger son is quick to learn but in much different areas.

It is interesting. So I say to anyone, you can never tell if you're gonna get some super smart kid. They may show it all along, and so it seems normal until they match up with other kids, or they may just wake up one day and have learned it all in their sleep!

Piano prodigy or just talented? What to do?

OK, so as we've mentioned before, our 6 year old is obsessed with the piano. All he wants to do is play the piano day and night. He begs for more sheet music and piano books so that he can pour through them playing every song.

No, he doesn't have a piano teacher, although we've looked time to time. Before, our problem was that no one would take a 5 or then 6 year old kid as a student, but now as he nears the age they accept, we worry about what type of teacher can best suit him.

He's taught himself everything and he just reads through piano course books going through a level book a day if I'd let him. I buy him the next level up, but I try to slow him down. I'm nothing of a piano teacher but every week I sit down with him and assign him like 10 songs to practice during the week, just to kind of get him to play them more smoothly or to practice more on fewer songs.

I can't correct him and I don't know how to explain any notes to him, but I can hear if he misses a note and tell him it's not right. How to fix it is another story. He usually figures it out or if in the end if he can't we go ask a friend who plays piano for help.

I want to find him a good piano teacher, but I'm not sure who to find. He loves the piano so much but wants to go so fast. I worry that a piano teacher might slow him down. I don't mind him working on certain songs for a while, but I don't want a teacher who is going to make him practice so few songs and go so slow that he starts to lose his passion. I want him to be challenged and I want him to enjoy it. So far he seems to be doing fine on his own, so why change it?

Then, on another note, we've begun to wonder is he talented, or does he truly have a gift? Is he a piano prodigy, or are we just over proud parents that think he is really great when he isn't that good?

He's recently downloaded some sheet music off the internet to play and one of the song's he's been playing is the same exact song that we see a 6 year old girl playing on "Britain's Got Talent" and winning. Here, see for yourself, here is our version, and then the little girl on Utube:

OK, so I suppose the little girl is probably faster a bit, but really our little boy has only been playing this song for a week here, but it's still the same song. I think sometimes, gee, why isn't he going on some talent show or something.

Who is to know what he will become. No, he's not like those super skilled little kids playing the piano that you see on talk shows, but we still think he is something else. We just hope we aren't overthinking things. Is he really that good for a non-taught 6 year old, or did I just suck at playing the piano that much that I am a little too impressed?

Oh, and if anyone is interested, you can always check out his piano blog where he plays all his songs by clicking here.

Basic Electronics 101

For our oldest son's birthday, he received one of those electronic circuit lab kit things. (OK, so I'm not sure how to explain what it is, but I'm sure you can tell by the picture.)

All day long he has been creating new things with lights, sounds, or whatever else it is teaching him. It is interesting though that he comes to show me one project, but then comes again a minute later showing me how he figured out this or that to make two circuits signaling LCD? lights or what not, and he tells me that he just figured these things out himself.

I am so sad. I don't even know what he is talking about, and if you would look in the HUGE manual that he has it is like Chinese to me. And there aren't pictures or anything. I would be bored to death just reading about all these things, and yet he has been nose deep in this book for the last 3 days, and as you can see, brother is pretty excited about it too.


---Oh, and on a side note, we did meet with the district coordinator who then met with the teacher, and supposedly, things are going to become "less negative" in the classroom, but we are still keeping an eye on things and are getting an IEP organized.

Timed Tests?? Is it really that necessary?

Our 3rd grader has to pass off these timed math tests called 36's. They are addition, subraction, multiplication, or all division math problem tests where there are 36 problems that must be finished in a minute and 30 seconds.

OK, so sure, this is a great way to get practice with your math problems, and it helps you get speedier, but must they really be timed, and for a pass or fail grade?

This has been the death of us this school year. Oh, our oldest knows all the answers, but he just can't write them quick enough. It all falls back to his thinking processing disorder that goes along with his Autism/Asperger's, but what do we do?

He simply can't process in time to meet this timed requirement. Yes, he know the answers, but by the time it gets from his brain to function into handwriting, it is just too long.

When we met with his teacher at the beginning of the year, we discussed this and she offered to test him orally, but this still imposes the same problem---he will still know the answer, but it takes his brain an extra few seconds before it can process it into words, so often it is still too slow.

Why does there have to be things timed? OK, yes, I agree with having time limits for how long you are taking an essay test or you know, you can't take forever to answer a question, but with a kid who is so smart but can't do things fast enough, where is your solution???

I guess he will never be able to be on Jeopardy or whatever other game shows are all timed, but that is a sad thing. What about all those geniuses who can't communicate or produce their answers as quickly as others? Does that make them any less of a person? Is it that important?

Obviously it is to this class he's in. He actually has passed off several of these tests orally with the teacher giving him an extra 10 seconds, but there has been no passing them off written and she insists that he finish the remaining tests written or he will fail.

It upsets me so to know what to do or not. I don't just disagree with these tests because they don't fit with our child with autism, but why would any kid have to pass off a minute and 30 second timed math quiz? I think it is great for practice, but really, should it be causing people to get 0's and fail math if they were a little too slow? I think it is wrong. If they know their math, they know it. Why do this??

I know this will be a continued struggle with our oldest. All these things that come in terms of his Autism and Asperger's seem to keep dragging him down. It's like he is at a super high level of learning and knowledge, but then because of his disabilities, the level is dropped down to a much lower level.

What should be done then? Remove him from the gifted, advanced program that he is in to a regular classroom where he would be bored and unchallenged, but able to "keep up" as far as speed, or leave him in the program and let him seem like he is dumb to the other kids?

There is no balance, and no answer we have found yet. Tuesday we are meeting with the gifted program's district coordinator to see what our options are and how having a child with a disability fits into a gifted program.

As always, if you are interested with our experiences more specific to Asperger's, see our other blog www.ourlifewithaspergers.blogspot.com.