Ever Hope for a "Normal" Child?

This may only make sense to those parents of gifted children, but do you ever wish you had a "normal child"?  

Our three older children all began reading very young and all three of them have ended up skipping a grade in school, but it has been a crazy road.  Trying to figure out what to do or not do when you know it's going to affect your child's future is not an easy thing.

While we are very proud of our gifted children, sometimes we wonder what it would be like if they were just "normal" or if they even struggled in school.  We've always been so focused on trying to figure out what we should do for our kids in school to better challenge them or help them not be bored or let them learn on their level that it gets tiring sometimes.  Is it really that important?  I mean, maybe we should have just let things be and left them alone to go through school with no changes.  They could have gone to Kindergarten, or my son could have gone to 5th grade.  They could all be in the same grade as kids their own age.  How would that be?  Would they really have been bored forever?  Would they have started to hate school?  Who knows.  

We look at our youngest daughter now and it's funny how we smile and are excited by maybe finally having a "normal" child academically.  That's silly to say, but it's true.  While each of our kids have surprised us, and we love them all, it seems like life might be easier if they could just go to school and be normal.  

   Our youngest daughter is only 3 and we figure she is just right on track for her age.  Well, actually for a short while we worried that she was a little behind in her learning, but I think it was just too hard to tell when all we've had to compare her with is her older siblings who have all been early learners.  Anyway, she is slowly learning her ABC's and she can write her name, and that is great.  While her brothers and sister were a bit more advanced at this same age, that was "not normal" for a regular 3 year old.  She surprised us the other day though.

It was quiet in her room and I walked in to see her working on this 50 piece puzzle at her desk.  I went over to see it almost completely done and I was confused.  It was like I was thinking, "Who else is home to have put this puzzle together?"  But there wasn't anyone else home.  She was in there all by herself, and not for very long, and she had figured out this whole puzzle herself?  How did she do that?  

OK, maybe it's just because I'm not a puzzle person, but I can't even get those little 25 large pieced puzzles together without getting frustrated!  Hence to say we were very impressed and surprised that she could do this 50 piece puzzle with small pieces on her own.  

Who is to say if she will be gifted like her siblings, and it doesn't really matter in the long run.  Maybe we'll finally get a "normal" child, and we'll be just fine with that.  No more teachers asking us to skip our kids grades or telling us they are "wasting our kids' time".  Normal could be good.  

Mature Academically, but Still a Little Kid

Our little girl is now in 2nd grade, a 6 year old with those who are mostly 7 turning 8.  It's crazy to think that there are many kids older than she who are just beginning 1st grade, while here she is in 2nd.  Where did the time go?  We worry that the time will come too soon where she won't want to be a little girl anymore.  Gone will be the times of my little ponies and princesses and the only thing important will be teen pop sensations, preteen books, makeup and fashion.  But how long can we hold off?  

One thing about our daughter, unlike our sons who have skipped grades, is that she is a social butterfly.  She just loves everyone and they all love her.  She still has friends from the short time she was in Kindergarten, and then she has so many friends in her new grade level.  She is never at a loss for play dates.  In fact, it is often that we have mom's knocking at our van window or calling to set up play dates with Jewelia.

While there are so many girls about 8 years old in her class who have began to change their interests, it is nice to see a few who are still young at heart.  On a recent play date, we were indeed happy as we saw that the little girl walking home with us to play had Dora the Explorer shoes on, and even happier when she wanted to push little baby doll strollers around outside.  I'm glad that some kids can still be kids.  

It seems like most kids are growing up way too fast.  I suppose it's easy when you have older brothers or sisters as an influence, but even then some kids who are an only child can move on to more adult interests a little sooner than they used to.  

As our kids have skipped grades and it sometimes feels like they've been pushed ahead to be older, we still think it is important that they can still be a kid.  It is interesting to see them reading, writing, and figuring out math problems way beyond their same aged peers, but then when it comes down to the simpleness of playing games and having fun, it doesn't matter so much.  

It will be interesting to see what happens as they get older.  Will they be forced to grow up too fast, or will they be lucky and find some friends who enjoy their time just being a kid? 

An 11 Year Old in Junior High

Here's my oldest son.  He thinks he's pretty cool here. 

 I'd say he was around 4 years old at the time. 

Well, it's been a long road, and now he is 11, and starting Junior High School for the first time. 

Will he be so cool now that he is a tiny little 11 year old amongst Junior High School kids who are mostly ages 12 and a half to 15 years old? 

It wasn't such a big deal to skip 5th grade and go into 6th grade at an elementary school with kids mostly younger than he, but now he has moved up and all the kids are older. 

Older and bigger. 

Much much bigger.

During the first week of school sometime I walked a short distance from the junior high school just in time to see him getting out of school to walk home.

Yeah, I suppose I was spying a bit, but I stood behind a tree from a pretty far distance away and tried to act casual.  Ha!

Anyway, out comes all these kids, these HUGE kids, these old looking, mature looking kids, and then I see my boy.  Yep, he's that one about 2 feet shorter than the rest, the skinny one.  And I'm not comparing him to the other boys.  It's the girls who are towering above him.  The boys are probably much taller.

Oh, he looked so out of place.  But so what.  So.  How is this year really going to go?  Will he like it?  Is he glad to be here instead of Elementary School?  Is he sorry he skipped?  Will he fit in?

So far, he is doing quite well academically.  Well, he always has. 

Socially?

Well, remember this is the boy who has Asperger's syndrome, and although his elementary school psychologist said there were many "red flags" for not wanting him to skip grades, we still pushed to make it happen, and he did well in 6th grade.  The kids were nicer. 

I've asked him about friends at Junior High. 

He tells me everyday he eats lunch with a certain boy who they don't even share any classes with, so I suppose the boy must want to hang out with him and not just out of coincidence. 

He even tried out for the Junior High Jazz Band and made it!  That's my boy!  Just a little 11 year old who still managed to win a spot in an audition only jazz band where the other kids are mostly 8th and 9th graders.  Kudos to him!

It is a little stressful to me seeing that I don't have much control over the boy anymore.  It's a little nerve racking knowing that he is on his own in a way at such a young age.  It seems like he's had to grow up so fast, and yet as I think about it, he's always been so grown up all these years.  Even there at age 4, I remember the way he talked to me just wasn't normal compared to other kids.  It's hard to explain. 

I still want to allow him the time and not miss out on things because of his early Junior High enrollment.  I'm pretty sure a lot of the kids end all dressing up and trick or treating for Halloween by Junior High time, but I don't think that's fair for him to lose a year.  Although he's not going to dress up for school (I doubt that would be too cool in Junior High School), he still has plans to dress up at home and go trick or treating.  It's only fair, and he should get to enjoy all the trick or treating years he can! 

Only time will tell how these next few years go.  Will he ever get that growth spurt to catch up with the others?  Will he gain some meat on his bones?  Will the other kids be able to see past his tiny size and young age?  Will he be considered an equal?  A peer? 

Top Honors for Academics

We were invited to an awards assembly at the end of the school year to see 2 of our kids receive awards. They picked 2 students out of every class who had the best marks in citizenship and academics. 2 out of our 3 school aged kids were picked, although we were surprised because our first son had all Honors in citizenship for the year as well as straight A's for all 4 quarters.

So, things seem to be just fine academically for our 3 kids who have all skipped a grade. How awesome that they can still be excelling even after being placed a year ahead. I always wonder if they will even out and just be average since they skipped a year, but they don't. They continue to excel. Good for them!

Socially they are all doing OK. While our oldest doesn't have really close friendships, and our second seems to think "everyone" is his friend although I don't think they all return the thought, they are happy enough. Our #3, the little girl, the youngest of them all to skip grades is probably the best socially. She is just so outgoing and has made so many friends. It doesn't matter that some of them are almost 2 years older.

All is well. It is summer and we only wait to see what happens for our kids as the next year starts.

Our 11 year old will enter Junior High,
our 8 year old will enter 4th grade,
and our little 6 year old will start 2nd grade.

Let's hope for a great new school year!

6th Grade Graduation, Is an 11 Year Old Ready for Junior High?

Well, our oldest just graduated from 6th grade.

They had all the 6th graders go through this balloon tunnel in 2's to the stage, and it was really crazy at how huge all the kids were compared to our son. I mean, yes, we saw a big difference at the beginning of the school year, but now at the end even more so. These other kids were giantic! They towered above him. Some of them looked like kids in high school already.

And then here is our #1, an 11 year old about to enter 7th grade. It was even weird seeing the "Future Class of 2017" banners that were posted around the auditorium. That's right, he will have just turned 17 when he graduates. I remember I was almost 19 when I graduated.

So, how has the year been? Our son went from 4th grade to 6th grade, and a lot of people have told us how detrimental that is on a kid socially, but we actually think it has been wonderful for him. He has done wonderfully well in academics receiving a perfect report card of straight A's and all Honors in citizenship for the entire 6th grade year. Great academically, but socially, he has been so happy this year! Unlike last year, there hasn't been a single time he has come home upset or commenting on how lonely he is or how the other kids won't play with him. These older kids, his new peers, seem to have accepted him just fine and they include him. No, he may not have developed any close best friend type friendships, but he felt as if he could talk or hang out with any groups in the 6th grade.

I don't know how it will be as he enters junior high this next fall. I hope that he hits a growth spurt soon, but he will do alright. As of now, just a year after skipping him 5th grade, I do not regret it. If anything, I think it's one of the best things we've ever done for our son. Every kid is different though. Who knows what will come for him when he gets to high school and driving and dating come into effect.

"Caught Up" With the Other Kids

It's been interesting. Since #3 was moved up from Kindergarten to 1st grade, her teacher was always telling me that she was "almost caught up" to where she should be as compared to the other 1st graders. She was "just about there" in this or that. I'm guessing this was because she missed the first 3 months of 1st grade, and so it would just take a little time. I hoped she was doing alright. I know she was a smart girl and a super reader.

Well, anyway, this past week she was sort of the very important person and got to have the spotlight on her in school. She brought home this booklet where everyone in class had to write a page about her and what she liked or whatever they wanted to write. As I first started reading these papers I laughed as I read, "She lics cats and rabbits" and then other papers that said "she is nis to ma", "she licks spring" and "she hav 6 in yor family". As I continued to turn pages I was actually surprised that so many papers had so many misspelled words and the sentences were kind of all over the place and the handwriting on most was pretty sloppy.

OK, so now I'm not meaning to critique 1st grade work, but her teacher was always saying how her handwriting needed work and "it was just about there" as to measuring up to her classmates. However, from looking at this booklet I could see that she was actually doing quite well. She didn't have any problems spelling simple words like "your", "like", and "nice". She knew how to capitalize and punctuate words, and her handwriting didn't seem half as bad as some of her classmates.

So, what was the deal? Either she had really improved and was doing great, or was I missing something? It's weird. The teacher had me all worried for so long, but after looking at this I see that she didn't have any problems in so much. I'm glad she is doing so well, but then it still surprises me that even after she skipped a grade, she still seems to be excelling even more so than many of her classmates who are all almost a year and a half older.

I can't believe 1st grade is about over. One more month of school and then my little girl will be going on to 2nd grade! 2nd grade! She hasn't even turned 6 years old yet. Ah, I still feel as if my little girl has been stolen from me. Yes, with my boys, I did feel a little robbed of that extra time when they both skipped grades, but #3 just seems so different. Maybe it's because she was the most dramatic skip as far as young age, or maybe it's because she's a girl and so little, but who knows. Only time will tell.

Social Struggles for Our Gifted Children

Look at these cute kids. They seem like pretty decent, friendly, likable kids, don't they? Well, that may be true, but what happens when they are a bit different from the other kids their age, or when they are in school with kids years older than them? How do things work out then?

Sometimes it has made me laugh how my kids have thought in the past how all kids their age or size should be interested or be able to do the same things that they can do. I remember #2 having playdates when he was 5 and just assumed that the other kids would know how to play the piano or read like him, like it was just a normal thing that every kid did. I laughed as I watched him one day asking the other child, just 4 year old what songs he played on the piano and what books he liked to read. He didn't understand that other kids didn't do these same things.

I've watched my oldest kind of regress socially at times to fit in. Before he had skipped grades he so wanted to fit in with his peers. I would watch him try to interact with other kids his age and when they were bored with all his scientific explanations or discussions on rocks, mineral, or types of insects, he would soon give up and start jumping around shouting exploding noises or just being plain annoying. I didn't understand this for a time, but it seemed to him the only way he could get kids his age to pay any attention to him. It didn't seem right though.

I watched my Kindergartner, though much more outgoing than my boys, run and say hello to every child at school calling them by name and explaining to them how to do everything and how to act and do their best while they all looked at her like, "why is this girl talking to me?"

It's been interesting. I guess my kids didn't always fit in with their peers then, but what about now that they have all skipped a grade?

Well, #1 has had an interesting year. I think he has gained a certain level of respect from the other kids just because they know he was smart enough to skip a grade. Although he may still be a little odd, which more or less comes from his Asperger's Syndrome, I believe that he is accepted as who he is and other will let him into their groups. Although I'm not sure if he has found any really close friends or developed any lasting relationships with kids at school, I do believe they all allow him to have input on their conversations and he feels happy with where he is. I am glad that with this group of peers I have not seen the need for him to act immature and stupid to get attention from these older kids. I do worry as he nears Junior High this next year that his interests will not match up to the other kids in his grade. They most likely will have started to like girls, while he is still into Pokemon, Star Wars, or legos.

#2 has always been my kind of clueless one. He just thinks everyone is his friend. What a wonderful attitude I guess, but somewhat funny that he thinks the whole school is his friend. It wasn't until his birthday party that we realized just how clueless he was. He invited so many kids and they all came, but as we watched the way they interacted, none of them but maybe 1 really cared that they were there for him. No one really wanted to play with him or talk to him. They were all happy to be at a party, yes, but they could have cared less it was his party. It was strange. But more strange was how different in personality they all were. Maybe it is just a wild bunch he is with this year, and yes they are all a year older than he, but they just wanted to run around and tear apart everything. #2 wanted to have a "piano party" but I had to talk him out of it a bit because it involved what he wanted all his friends to be around him while he played songs on the piano and I just didn't think a bunch of 8-9 year olds would care much for that.
I'm glad for his good spirits, and according to his teacher, "everyone loves him" so I don't worry, for I think he is very respected at his school just for his musical talent rather, but I hope he stays happy and thinking everyone is his friend. I do wonder how much longer can go on with his interests so different from the other kids in his class. Much younger too.

Now #3 is really different from her brothers in that she really is very social and just loves everyone. She makes friends with everyone and although sometimes surprised and questioning at first, most of the kids accept her very well and become her friend not mattering how old they are. She has seemed to be able to maintain her old Kindergarten friends which she sees at lunch recess, as well as made several new 1st grade friends. She has only been in 1st grade a couple of months and already been invited to 2 birthday parties. She seems to be doing great! It still astonishes me as I take her to these parties and her classmates are turning 7 years old while she still won't be turning 6 until the end of the school year! But they all seem to get along and they seem to be on her level. She is so happy. I am glad. I wish the boys were as social and easy going as she was.

Who is to know what will happen as the years go by. Will it really be that big of deal come junior high and high school for their age difference? For #2 and #3 who both skipped Kindergarten, I do not think it will matter as much because it will almost seem as if it always was. But for #1 who grade skipping is more recent and will enter Junior High next year as an 11 year old, it seems a little shaky. Only time will tell.

We still wait to see what is in store for our little 3 year old. Maybe we can have just 1 child be "normal" and go through school "normally". Whatever that means!