Top Honors for Academics

We were invited to an awards assembly at the end of the school year to see 2 of our kids receive awards. They picked 2 students out of every class who had the best marks in citizenship and academics. 2 out of our 3 school aged kids were picked, although we were surprised because our first son had all Honors in citizenship for the year as well as straight A's for all 4 quarters.

So, things seem to be just fine academically for our 3 kids who have all skipped a grade. How awesome that they can still be excelling even after being placed a year ahead. I always wonder if they will even out and just be average since they skipped a year, but they don't. They continue to excel. Good for them!

Socially they are all doing OK. While our oldest doesn't have really close friendships, and our second seems to think "everyone" is his friend although I don't think they all return the thought, they are happy enough. Our #3, the little girl, the youngest of them all to skip grades is probably the best socially. She is just so outgoing and has made so many friends. It doesn't matter that some of them are almost 2 years older.

All is well. It is summer and we only wait to see what happens for our kids as the next year starts.

Our 11 year old will enter Junior High,
our 8 year old will enter 4th grade,
and our little 6 year old will start 2nd grade.

Let's hope for a great new school year!

6th Grade Graduation, Is an 11 Year Old Ready for Junior High?

Well, our oldest just graduated from 6th grade.

They had all the 6th graders go through this balloon tunnel in 2's to the stage, and it was really crazy at how huge all the kids were compared to our son. I mean, yes, we saw a big difference at the beginning of the school year, but now at the end even more so. These other kids were giantic! They towered above him. Some of them looked like kids in high school already.

And then here is our #1, an 11 year old about to enter 7th grade. It was even weird seeing the "Future Class of 2017" banners that were posted around the auditorium. That's right, he will have just turned 17 when he graduates. I remember I was almost 19 when I graduated.

So, how has the year been? Our son went from 4th grade to 6th grade, and a lot of people have told us how detrimental that is on a kid socially, but we actually think it has been wonderful for him. He has done wonderfully well in academics receiving a perfect report card of straight A's and all Honors in citizenship for the entire 6th grade year. Great academically, but socially, he has been so happy this year! Unlike last year, there hasn't been a single time he has come home upset or commenting on how lonely he is or how the other kids won't play with him. These older kids, his new peers, seem to have accepted him just fine and they include him. No, he may not have developed any close best friend type friendships, but he felt as if he could talk or hang out with any groups in the 6th grade.

I don't know how it will be as he enters junior high this next fall. I hope that he hits a growth spurt soon, but he will do alright. As of now, just a year after skipping him 5th grade, I do not regret it. If anything, I think it's one of the best things we've ever done for our son. Every kid is different though. Who knows what will come for him when he gets to high school and driving and dating come into effect.

Social Struggles for Our Gifted Children

Look at these cute kids. They seem like pretty decent, friendly, likable kids, don't they? Well, that may be true, but what happens when they are a bit different from the other kids their age, or when they are in school with kids years older than them? How do things work out then?

Sometimes it has made me laugh how my kids have thought in the past how all kids their age or size should be interested or be able to do the same things that they can do. I remember #2 having playdates when he was 5 and just assumed that the other kids would know how to play the piano or read like him, like it was just a normal thing that every kid did. I laughed as I watched him one day asking the other child, just 4 year old what songs he played on the piano and what books he liked to read. He didn't understand that other kids didn't do these same things.

I've watched my oldest kind of regress socially at times to fit in. Before he had skipped grades he so wanted to fit in with his peers. I would watch him try to interact with other kids his age and when they were bored with all his scientific explanations or discussions on rocks, mineral, or types of insects, he would soon give up and start jumping around shouting exploding noises or just being plain annoying. I didn't understand this for a time, but it seemed to him the only way he could get kids his age to pay any attention to him. It didn't seem right though.

I watched my Kindergartner, though much more outgoing than my boys, run and say hello to every child at school calling them by name and explaining to them how to do everything and how to act and do their best while they all looked at her like, "why is this girl talking to me?"

It's been interesting. I guess my kids didn't always fit in with their peers then, but what about now that they have all skipped a grade?

Well, #1 has had an interesting year. I think he has gained a certain level of respect from the other kids just because they know he was smart enough to skip a grade. Although he may still be a little odd, which more or less comes from his Asperger's Syndrome, I believe that he is accepted as who he is and other will let him into their groups. Although I'm not sure if he has found any really close friends or developed any lasting relationships with kids at school, I do believe they all allow him to have input on their conversations and he feels happy with where he is. I am glad that with this group of peers I have not seen the need for him to act immature and stupid to get attention from these older kids. I do worry as he nears Junior High this next year that his interests will not match up to the other kids in his grade. They most likely will have started to like girls, while he is still into Pokemon, Star Wars, or legos.

#2 has always been my kind of clueless one. He just thinks everyone is his friend. What a wonderful attitude I guess, but somewhat funny that he thinks the whole school is his friend. It wasn't until his birthday party that we realized just how clueless he was. He invited so many kids and they all came, but as we watched the way they interacted, none of them but maybe 1 really cared that they were there for him. No one really wanted to play with him or talk to him. They were all happy to be at a party, yes, but they could have cared less it was his party. It was strange. But more strange was how different in personality they all were. Maybe it is just a wild bunch he is with this year, and yes they are all a year older than he, but they just wanted to run around and tear apart everything. #2 wanted to have a "piano party" but I had to talk him out of it a bit because it involved what he wanted all his friends to be around him while he played songs on the piano and I just didn't think a bunch of 8-9 year olds would care much for that.
I'm glad for his good spirits, and according to his teacher, "everyone loves him" so I don't worry, for I think he is very respected at his school just for his musical talent rather, but I hope he stays happy and thinking everyone is his friend. I do wonder how much longer can go on with his interests so different from the other kids in his class. Much younger too.

Now #3 is really different from her brothers in that she really is very social and just loves everyone. She makes friends with everyone and although sometimes surprised and questioning at first, most of the kids accept her very well and become her friend not mattering how old they are. She has seemed to be able to maintain her old Kindergarten friends which she sees at lunch recess, as well as made several new 1st grade friends. She has only been in 1st grade a couple of months and already been invited to 2 birthday parties. She seems to be doing great! It still astonishes me as I take her to these parties and her classmates are turning 7 years old while she still won't be turning 6 until the end of the school year! But they all seem to get along and they seem to be on her level. She is so happy. I am glad. I wish the boys were as social and easy going as she was.

Who is to know what will happen as the years go by. Will it really be that big of deal come junior high and high school for their age difference? For #2 and #3 who both skipped Kindergarten, I do not think it will matter as much because it will almost seem as if it always was. But for #1 who grade skipping is more recent and will enter Junior High next year as an 11 year old, it seems a little shaky. Only time will tell.

We still wait to see what is in store for our little 3 year old. Maybe we can have just 1 child be "normal" and go through school "normally". Whatever that means!

Hoping You Are Not an "Evil Mommy" while Doing What is Best for Your Gifted Child

Being the parent of a gifted child can be difficult. You are faced with so many tough decisions regarding what you should do or where you should school your child. And as you are trying to figure things out everyone else sure has their opinions to express. Often they are not so nice. This is where we begin to feel like terrible parents.

We have had to make so many decisions for our 3 gifted kids, and each time we honestly aren't sure if it is going to be the right thing. Is anyone ever positively sure?

We've tried "enhanced" curriculum or what the schools call "enrichment" to give extra work or challenge to the kids.

We've done the full time gifted program.

We've done the split grades thing.

We've tried not caring so much what they are doing at school and teaching them at home.

We've tried opening other opportunities to them outside of just academics like getting them more involved in the arts to keep them less bored.

And then in the end we've skipped all 3 of them up a grade.

Now, is this evil? Well, according to many many others, you would think we were cursing our children for life.

Just recently when deciding whether or not we should skip our daughter into 1st Grade, we got quite a lot of comments.

They would say, "Oh, you are robbing your kid's childhood!"
Now come on--how is putting my child in 1st grade "robbing their childhood"? It's not like I'm sending them to military school or making them get a job! So they go to school a little longer and do a little more challenging work at their level. Would it be better if we just let them sit home and watch tv all day? Is that giving them more of a childhood?

Or for my 10 year old who just skipped 5th grade, how many comments we received over that. There are so many people that have told us that skipping grades is absolutely the worst thing you can do to a kid and that they will surely hate us later when they are older and have such an awful social life.

Now, yes, skipping grades is a big deal, and I do look ahead and see my kids being very very young high schoolers, especially my little girl who is now in 1st grade as a 5 year old who will not turn 6 until the very end of the year. It is weird to know that she is in 1st grade right now with kids 2 years older in some cases. That's a big difference.

It's hard to see my 10 year old be in 6th grade knowing he will be in Junior High next year and seeing all the other older kids towering above him or so much more physically mature.

It's hard to see my just turned 8 year old in 3rd grade with kids that don't share the same interests as him because of his age.

So, yes, maybe I'm an evil mommy, but we really have had to weigh over all the pros and cons and when we've tried so many things, this seemed only to be the next option.

I don't believe so much that skipping your child grades will ruin them. I think every child is different and an individual.

Well, as we get the ugly looks and the murmurs behind our backs about how we did such a horrible thing to skip our kids grades, we hang on and hope that things will work out for the best. Maybe it's not the best thing to do for all children, but for our kids, we're giving it a try. True, all most parents want is to see their kids happy. With our kids, being happy has a lot to do with being challenged at school.

Another Child, Yet Another Grade Skipped

Our oldest had skipped 5th grade, our second had skipped Kindergarten, and now here we were facing the decision yet again to skip our 3rd child.

Really, we didn't want to have to keep dealing with this. We just wanted our kids to be normal. What ever that meant. I mean, really, were our kids that much different than their peers? Maybe they were really aliens from outer space. No, I'm only kidding, but where did they get these smart genes from?

We really didn't want to skip our 3rd child. Our 2 boys seemed a little bit quirky and they weren't into sports and they didn't seem to have any problems skipping, but #3 was a girl, and her age was much much younger to be skipping a grade. She was a young 5. She would not be turning 6 until May. What about dating when she gets older? She wouldn't be 16 until the end of her junior year in high school!

Well, as we waited for all the testing the school was doing, as parents we weighed over the pros and cons. We weren't going out there trying to push our child forward. We had told them initially that we didn't want it, but yet they were coming to us because they saw the need. We began asking our daughter what she felt about school and we got some surprising responses.

Pretty much our #3 thought school was super easy and she already knew how to do everything and she thought it was just about playing and having fun. We began to wonder if she was going to get the wrong idea about school. Isn't it about learning?

Her teacher would send home a book a day for her to read and she would read them in a few short minutes and send them back to get another one. Soon the teacher told me she had no more books in her classroom library that she could send home because she had read them all.

What were we to do? Our daughter knew why they were testing her and she wanted to go to 1st grade. We wanted to be sure it was for the right reasons though, not just because she wanted to eat lunch at school or have 2 recesses. We asked her again and again if she were sure. What about your friends?

She simply replied, "Oh, I will still see them at lunch recess, and anyway Mommy, I make tons of new friends everyday!" She was so confident and so happy and outgoing. This child surely didn't have any problems socially. It was rather interesting not having to think so hard about that problem in a gifted child.

Anyway, we met with the principal, her teacher, and the school psychologist that basically told us she needed to be advanced. They said her scores were all extremely high mostly in the very superior range and that she scored at the level of a first grader at the end of the year and had the math and reading skills closer to a student in 2nd grade. How could we keep her in Kindergarten? Well, I suppose we could always try it and see what happens.

What about all day school? Actual homework? Would it be too much? How would the other kids react?

The psychologist said it would be her last day in Kindergarten, and then after a 3 day weekend break, she would start in first grade on Monday.

So, here we go again. It's not like this is new to us, but each child is different, and do you really ever know if you did the right thing? There is so much negative reaction out there from other parents when you skip a child a grade as well as other things, but that is for another post.

For now, we sit on the edge of our seats and wait to see how another grade promotion goes.

Too Smart for Kindergarten?

This is cute #3. She started Kindergarten this year. While I knew she was a pretty bright kid, I'm not so sure she was gifted like that of my 1st two boys. It had been a rough road trying to figure out schooling with #1 and #2, and I just wanted to be done with it.

"Just let my child be normal." I would say to myself, and to teachers as well. I just wanted to have a "normal" child that could go to school like normal and be fine and dandy and not need any special instruction.

Well, I did not get my wish.

3 weeks into school I got a phone call from her teacher while shopping. Her teacher says to me, "I feel like I am wasting her time. She already knows everything I'm going to teach this year. I'm wanting to know if you want her tested for 1st grade."

Oh my. #3. Really we had decided ahead of time that we weren't even going to bother doing anything special as far as school placement with #3. Not that she didn't deserve the best schooling, but we just wanted our kids to be that "normal" that I guess they weren't. And it was weird this time. This was the 1st time that we had a teacher coming to us first to ask us if we wanted to do something because they are the ones to notice first.

Hmmm......what to do?

Our #1 was always so smart. Sooo very smart. It still baffles me to this day how smart he is. But he always showed it from like 18 months old. His has been the roughest road. Bored in Kindergarten, then transferred to a full time split grade gifted program, then back to regular school, then bored again, put into some classes in the grade above his, then finally skipped into the 6th grade. What a mess!

Our #2 was a little different. While he didn't show giftedness at an early age, he almost just woke up overnight one day knowing how to read and everything. It was very different, but also surprising. He had an incredible musical natural talent, but he was also smart enough that he just skipped Kindergarten and started in the split 1st/2nd grade full time gifted program. Now he is back to regular school, but still ahead a grade, although I've never thought it too dramatic because he has an early October birthday.

But here we are with #3. Again, she didn't show giftedness right off, although she sure was a talker! From a young age she sure was always very articulate. We figured it didn't matter how smart she was, because she could talk very well. But then, again, an overnight thing almost. It was like one week she was scribbling and barely knew her ABC's, and then the next week she was coloring perfectly within the lines and had taught herself to read. And the week later she was reading chapter books! How did that happen?

So, anyway, I didn't know what to say to her teacher. Did we want her tested? She may have been smart, but she was also so young! Her birthday was in May, and so she wasn't one of these kids about to turn 6. She was a young Kindergartner.

Well, I told the teacher to go ahead and she could test our #3 now. Of course this didn't mean we were making any decisions, but just maybe we could see how she tested and then think about it.
So, for the next few weeks they tested her, while we contemplated what decision we could make.

1st Day of School after Skipping 5th Grade---Yikes! Are these 6th Graders?!

Well, the big day came. It was the first day of school and we sent off our little 10 year old to 6th grade! Now, our oldest isn't really short. Well, true, I am only 5 feet tall and my husband is 5 foot 11, but I always felt our son was somewhat average in height.

Well, it for sure didn't matter much anymore. We walked to school and watched as the kids separate into their grade groups and line up by class outside the school doors. I looked horrified by these towering giants and girls (with boobs!) who were going to be my son's classmates. Could these really be 6th graders?! They were huge! And so mature looking!

I guess when your son goes from class with little 9 year old boys and girls and then the next year jumps into class with these older almost 12 year old boys and girls (or should I say young women) that it is a dramatic jump. Our son looked so small. He lined up in line and I couldn't even see him because his head was a foot lower than the other kids in line. And he was standing next to girls!

Was this a bad decision? Yes, my little genius of a boy deserved to be promoted and I'm sure he wasn't going to have any problems academically, but should we have allowed this? Sure, socially it didn't seem to matter because no one accepted our quirky son with Asperger's in his classes last year. He was miserable both socially and academically. We wanted some sort of happiness for him. I didn't want him to get stepped on though. What would the other kids think? Would they know he didn't really belong in their grade? Would they know he skipped?

All these worries, yet, these were all things we went against anyway because we had found out that he didn't seem to fit in anywhere, so why hold him back? Why not give the smart boy the opportunity to go ahead and be more challenged and enjoy school more on an academic level?

Well, off he went and we waited to see what would become of such a bold decision. Good luck my little one.

The Decision to Skip 5th Grade

Yep, our oldest was just not fitting in.

I laugh at this cute picture. (Really he does not carry a fanny pack and wear an army hat everyday....this was just from a vacation where we were going to be walking a lot and couldn't use a backpack.)

But anyway, he was not fitting into this whole educational plan. It was the end of 4th grade now and we didn't feel as if things were working out. Yes, the school had been wonderful to try new things and give him opportunities that I'm sure they had never allowed others before. He was able to take subjects in higher grades and work more on his own with research projects, but it was still not smooth sailing. It was awkward going from grade to grade and he was still bored with the 4th grade subjects most of the time, and we already discussed how we didn't feel comfortable with the idea of him having to walk to the junior high school and back when he reached 6th grade, so what should we do?

Back when he was in Kindergarten and bored we thought about skipping him to first, but we never acted on it. Instead he tested into the separate school gifted program which he started in 1st grade. And while it was somewhat academically challenging, he was still advanced and suffering socially. What to do?

Moving him back to the regular school did not solve this problem. While he had friends at first, again he ended up bored and alone at the end of the year. There was no match for this poor kid. The split grade thing was OK, but it was just hard to transition back and forth all the time.

So,
we decided to again ask the school about having him skip a grade.

Last year they had decided against it because of social reasons mostly, but by the year's end, it went to show that it didn't really matter. While before he was happy academically but not socially at the gifted school, here he was happy socially but not academically, but now once again he was miserable both academically and socially. There was no winning. We knew we couldn't control his happiness social wise. He was a different kid, and maybe he just wasn't going to fit in no matter what. But, we could help with the academic happiness. Why not skip a grade?

OK, now this is a big issue, and yes, a lot of people tend to freak out.

What about sports? What about maturity level? What about when they get older in high school?

Well, our oldest hates all sports and does not have any desire to try out for any sports teams, so no worries there. I don't suppose he is immature, but I don't think he is fitting in socially where he is anyway. It has been a long 5 years with still little friends if any. And, high school? Hmmm.....I don't know. All I do know is that our son was super smart, and the only time I could kind of see him happy was when he was being challenged and really learning at school.

He was plenty smart enough. Remember the school had tested him last year and basically told me he was smart enough for college classes or what not, but now when we approached the school again they were leaning against it. It raised too many "red flags" they said. It wouldn't be a good idea. But what would? Let him be challenged and let him be happy at least somewhat without all the trauma of having to change classes and split between grades to miss this or that. We just wanted him to be in a stable classroom where he could take all his subjects and not have to travel to another school in 6th grade.

So, we met with the Principal and the psychologist and discussed our proposition. They were hesitant, and the school psychologist told us she didn't think it would do what we thought it would do for my son. I'm not sure what she thought we were thinking, but it just seemed to make sense to us.

And no, maybe it wouldn't solve his boredom problem, and sure, it probably wouldn't help with things socially, but then what else would? We had tried so many things, different schools, different gifted programs, split grades, extra type work options, etc....but things were still not great. Why not at least help him to feel stable in a single classroom? He deserved it. He already had passed 5th grade math and knew most of the other subjects. Why have him repeat it?

So we waited anxiously over the last few days of school to see what the Principal would decide. I don't know what we worried about more---his decision being no or his decision being yes. Either way, it was going to be hard to take in.

The second to last day of school the Principal emailed my husband and told him they had agreed to the grade promotion. My little 10 year old would now be a 6th grader the following year!

Now came the stress and worry and wondering if we made the right decision. It seems like it would have been so much easier if they had just skipped him back in Kindergarten. This was all turning into a mess. Now it seemed so dramatic to go from 9-10 year old classmates to 11-12. We didn't want him to miss anything, so we looked up 5th grade curriculum and had him study all of 5th grade science and history over the summer just so we could know he had experienced it before going onto 6th.

Summer was long, but not long enough. 6th grade was coming, and we worried still if this was going to be good or bad. This hadn't been our decision. Our oldest had expressed his desire to be in one set class and he wanted to be more challenged. It was a joint decision, but I think he was a little nervous as well.

A Gifted Child in a Regular School--Making it Work?

Can it work? We had sacrificed higher academics for hopes of a better social life for our oldest, but was it worth it?

Yes, for once our child was happy and had friends, but now we were back to the happy socially, but bored academically. Could we never have the best of both worlds?

We were in a regular elementary school with no gifted program to speak of. Because of budget cuts, the pull out gifted program that was once there had been all discontinued. Unless in the magnet program at another school (which we had just given up), there was nothing out there for gifted students.

Or was there?

After the school psychologist completed all these tests and had basically told us he was far above his peers, they had proposed a plan to challenge him more. It all sounded good, but was it really going to happen? They said they would allow him to go into the next grade math, and as far as the other subjects, he would have extra activities, research projects, and his own computer to use. So, did this happen, and what did he think of it?

For a while it may have been working. He was loving math where he would go to a 5th grade class and do math there. That was his favorite part of the day because he was actually learning something new.

The other parts of the day he would finish his reading or work before the others and so he would just start creating power point presentations going more in detail on whatever subject his 4th grade class was learning. This was OK for a while, but often he would mess up on the saving in the computer part and all his work would be lost, or his teacher would forget to remind him things, or he would just plain forget he could do that and so usually it was still boredom.

Soon he began coming home in tears because schedules were not matching up. 4th grade was doing one thing, but he needed to be in 5th grade when they did math, but sometimes they changed things around, and then he'd miss something and it would cause major drama.

The school's plans were to continue placing him in one grade but having him do math in a higher grade, so eventually they would have him walk to the junior high school when he enters 6th grade to take 7th grade math. That seemed a little complicated. How was that going to work out schedule wise? And was that safe?

Letting him use his own little laptop seemed great and nice and all, but was he really being challenged, or was he just being given busy work or fillers so he would have something else to do besides read when he finished ahead of the others? He was still telling me that he already knew the stuff they were teaching most of the time.

It was great that this school was actually making an effort and trying to make things work for a gifted child, but I don't know if this was the answer just yet. We waited and observed, but things weren't looking good. By the end of the school year he had no friendships to speak of, and again he was bored academically. Once again we began looking for other options.

Making up for a lack of Educational Challenge with Extracurricular Activities

The school had tested our oldest son, and although they told us he was "superior" in intelligence and scored mountains higher than his peers, they chose not to skip him grades. They did allow him to take math in the next grade up, but as far as other subjects, he was just going to be given some "accommodations".

This plan seemed to have some struggles from the beginning. He had to leave his 4th grade class to go to a 5th grade class for math which did not quite match up in scheduling. The 5th grade took longer for math, but since he needed to be back to do other things in the 4th grade, he always had to miss the last part of math. Now, this wasn't a big deal because we found out he was actually helping the 5th graders understand how to do their math, but often it would cause emotional meltdowns when the 5th grade teacher forgot to release him and he ended up missing recess or important activities in his regular class.

He did love the advancement in math finally, and that he wasn't bored about it anymore, but for other subjects he was still pretty bored. The accommodations that the school suggested was to have his own personal laptop as to which he could do research and make up power point presentations on various subjects that his class was learning about. He would do this whenever he finished an assignment ahead of the class.

This seemed all well at first, but eventually he would forget to ask his teacher for the laptop, or many times he had worked for weeks on a project and then somehow it got deleted in the computer and all his time had nothing to show.

He soon became bored again and really was not being challenged at all. At least he had math which kept him happy (except for too many times when he had to miss it or things didn't work out between the 2 grades schedules).

So, what could we do? He came to us and asked us one day, "Why does summer vacation so long?" I laughed thinking what kid on earth actually thinks summer vacation from school is too long!? But really, he told us how boring it is to be out of school and not able to be learning things. Of course he was pretty bored right now, so what could we do about it?

He read plenty. I'm sure most of what he learns comes from his own studying and reading of hundreds of thick science books or what not that he reads on a daily basis, but he was still bored. We decided if he wasn't going to get enough to do at school, that we'd try some extracurricular activities.

He has been taking dance for 3 years (Yes, I know, a brilliant mind but a dancer? My husband often thinks it is not allowing him to live to his full potential, but every smart kid needs some creativity too!) so he does that 2 days a week. He still wanted more though, and he wanted more of a challenge, so we thought to let him pick out an instrument and get him involved in music lessons.

He chose guitar. We found him a teacher and he began taking lessons. Amazingly enough he has begun playing the guitar and exceptionally well. His teacher tells us he is the fastest learning student he has ever had. Only 4 guitar lessons and he was already playing pretty good. And this wasn't just strumming chords, it was picking like each individual notes with different fingers, like the fancy stuff. I couldn't believe it. Yes, he was super smart with school stuff, but I didn't know he could just pick up a guitar, have a few lessons with no experience and be so good. I guess we should have believed the school psychologist when she said he "had the ability to master anything presented to him". It was soon proving true.

Now, while this wasn't helping him be more challenged and enjoy school more, it was giving him something in a different challenge that I do believe develops the brain. We still felt as if he needed more at school. If only he could have a better fit. This split grade level shifting back and forth was not always working, and the "accommodations" were just turning into busy work, but nothing that would allow him to advance and gain more knowledge as he wanted.

But we waited, and we hoped for something more.

They told us they would "accommodate" him in other ways during the school day.

Testing Results, "He's 1 in 300,000"

We waited anxiously to hear back from the school psychologist. They had been testing our oldest for 3 weeks now and I was on edge.

What if they told me we were crazy and he really wasn't that smart? What if they told me he had more problems because of his Asperger's? I just wished they would tell me something. Anything!

I impatiently emailed the psychologist asking how much longer until we knew anything and if she could give me any clue as what he was showing. This is what her email said back:

"His achievement scores are all in the Superior to Very Superior range. Cognitively, he is more of a puzzle. His verbal index is in the Very Superior range (standard score 136) as well as his perceptual reasoning skills (standard score 135). His holes are in his Working Memory and his Processing Speed, which are both in the average range when compared to boys his age, but he is not an average boy!! We need to take these skills into consideration as we plan his programming. You have a boy who is operating in the 96-99th %ile. That is not going to change - that is his hard drive. We need to individualize his education just as we do the kids on the other end of the spectrum - the very low children. I am working on his report and researching some interventions this weekend. I have also contacted the education dept at the university."

OK, so I was relieved that they didn't think he was dumb or anything and we were just pushy parents, but really, I still didn't understand all her talk about levels and processing and what not. She scheduled a meeting for us, the Principal, the district gifted coordinator, and herself. Of course I was a little nervous of this being I would be meeting with the coordinator of the gifted program whom I had recently pulled my boys out of her program. I hoped she was not angry with us.

My husband and I met the next day and the meeting was astonishing. We all sat around a table while the school psychologist told us that he was "1 in 300,000 kids" to be at the level he was intellectually. She showed us charts and graphs and numbers here and there that compared him to that of a 25 year old adult. She showed his level as compared to his classmates where he stretched far far ahead of his peers. Really, we sat there almost in awe thinking, "Are you sure? He's just a kid."

And then, I was surprised by what recommendations they had.

They did not recommend he skip 4th grade. They said he was so smart that he had the ability to master any subject matter presented to him rather quickly. They said if they skipped him grades it would do no good because he would just need to be skipped again and again and again.

They said rather than skipping him, they would like to accommodate him in the following ways:

1-allow him to take certain subjects in the higher grades but keep him based in his own grade
2-give him access to his own personal computer where he can research info on his own
3-allow him separate projects and possibilities of creating power point presentations to his class
4-give him alternate assignments to allow him to go more in depth on interesting topics

and then one extra help for his Asperger's:

5-have him meet in a peer group with the psychologist once weekly to work on social skills

So, here we were, entering a new set up for our 9 year old. It was so funny almost to think it had taken us so long for anyone to really want to match his full potential. Yes, the gifted program was great, but even then it didn't quite fit him. I wonder why we pulled him out of this school in the first place. This school seemed to be doing so much and they really really wanted to help him succeed. Not just succeed, but live to his fullest possibilities.

It was almost like we were the parents of some kind of celebrity. It was just weird sitting there with all these important people telling us how wonderful our son was. Sure, we knew he was smart, but they were making us feel as if we were important members of society like related to the President or something.

Sad, that is that every parent isn't treated this way no matter what. Not that we were ever treated badly before, but this was just so different. We were really impressed with the way they seemed to care so much.

So, here we were, ready to start a new path for our oldest. He was destined for great things they told us. We would soon see.

"He's Smarter than I am"

We met with the principal to discuss our concerns about our oldest's boredom in school. We told him the teachers were probably doing just fine, but the curriculum was below everything that he had already done in the old school. I know, I know, the other school was a full time gifted program, and we had chosen to bring him over to the regular school for a chance to have a social life, but really, it was way behind what he was doing.

It's nobody's fault. I didn't want to go in their blaming anyone for his boredom or anything. I did feel extremely guilty and kept complimenting the principal on the school and the teachers. The principal was nice and set up another meeting for us to meet with him and the school psychologist to discuss possible excellerated learning options or even possible grade "promotion" as they call it.

When we met with them I wasn't sure what I should be saying. How did I know if our son was really that smart, and how did I know where he should be in school? We had tried so many different things and he still wasn't fitting in right. He was either going to be completely bored with friends, or challenged but no friends. Which should come first? Social or academic? I felt like we have been on a teeter totter for the last 4 years. There is no real balance.

The school psychologist began looking at some of these old test scores from 1st grade and his performance results from last years state testing. Yes, he had scored in the top 10 percent of the nation in every single subject except for language, but was it really that great? This psychologist looks at us and starts saying well, if we skip him to the next grade, what's to say we won't need to skip him again 3 months from now, and then again, and again. I am looking at her in shock. What did she mean? Why and how could she be saying this when all she was looking at were a couple of testing results?

And then my husband looks at me and says, "He's a smart kid. He's smarter than I am."

What? "What!?" I ask him. What is that supposed to mean? How can our 9 year old son be smarter than a 33 year old computer programmer. I'm pretty sure my husband is pretty intelligent.

But he says to me, "He doesn't know as much as I do, but he is smarter than me."

What? How can this be, and how can he know this, and how can this principal and school psychologist think any of this by looking at a few papers? Can I not interpret these papers the same way they can?

They asked us to sign some papers to have him go through some testing and then they would get back to us within the next 2 weeks. We signed and so now we wait.

Of course I am worried.

What if they do all these tests and the results are that he's really not that smart and we're just a bunch of stupid ego boasting parents?

Or, what if he is somewhat smart and they want to skip him to 5th grade, but then he gets there and he fails?

Oh, why does this seem all so weird? I guess we will wait and see. Our son just keeps saying how he thinks he would have so much more fun in 5th grade where he could be learning new things everyday. I laugh and think, gee, why not just take the easy road? I'd be thinking, "Woohoo! This is going to be a piece of cake! I can just do whatever in class!" (OK, so I guess I was the slacker student.) But, no, our son insists on having new material everyday. Good kid. I just wonder what will come of this and worry for what we may do if it doesn't work either. We have tried so many things. What will happen next?

Stuck. Was This Really What it was Cracked up to Be?

Stuck. That's what we are. Stuck.

We started this whole full time gifted program for our oldest because he was so bored and miserable at school. He was far advanced than his peers and we knew he needed more to what he was doing in his school at the time.

We had our cute little 5 year old skip Kindergarten, throwing him right into this 1st/2nd grade gifted program also because he was at a level higher than his brother was at the same age.

We thought it would be good. Older brother seemed to love it the first 2 years. The teacher was great and she really let the kids learn things more in depth if they were interested.

Then 3rd grade happened and the teacher was different. It was more book reports, busy work, and tons and tons of homework. It seemed like she just wanted to see how fast the students could get everything done in a workbook. Our oldest came home everyday from school just hating school again and anything that went with it. His love for learning was gone. He was just so concerned with having to get everything done as fast as possible and there wasn't much time to go more in depth in things like in the previous years.

Now, I'm not there in the classroom, and I don't know exactly what goes on, but this is just from what my kids tell me. His teacher is a good teacher, her approach is just different. He will have the same teacher next year.

Now, younger brother does love it, and he had a great time his first year. I'm sure he'll have a great time this next year, but what happens after that?

Another issue we are facing is that in this program they are with the same group of kids for 6 years. The kids all test into this program and pretty much stay give or take a few drop out or a few test in at later grades. This can be a good, yet bad thing at the same time.

It's good that all the kids will know one another, but what about meeting new people? And what if they never quite find their niche in this group of peers? What if they don't really fit in or make any close friends? By the end of 2nd grade, if they haven't found a friend, then there isn't much chance of all the little friend groups opening up to include someone new.

We have found this with our oldest. Now, yes, he has Asperger's, and so social things come a little more difficult to him, but he still wants and needs to have friends. He is a good kid and he can have friends, but he has not found a very good friend circle in this program. He has maybe 3 people who he considers friends in the grade above him, but then the next year they move on to another class and a younger group comes in below him which he has no friends. He doesn't seem to have any friends in his grade level. So he is stuck the 2nd year of each teacher's class to being depressed and lonely.

Younger brother doesn't seem to have a solid friendship group yet, but I don't think he really cares or knows yet. He's loving school, but what if he doesn't find his place later?

And what happens when younger brother gets into 3rd grade into super busywork class and starts to hate school like older brother? Is it worth it?

So, what do we do?

I know older brother would be bored in a regular classroom, but he wouldn't be having the life sucked out of him, and in another school he would have the opportunity to meet new and different kids being that you don't always have the same teacher and sometimes they split classes for subjects. He already goes to church with some kids that go to the regular school. He would know some kids.

Younger brother I'm sure would do fine wherever. We already skipped him Kindergarten. I'm sure he would be fine and not be bored, but he seems happy at his brother's school right now and with his teacher.

And, what to do when sisters start school? At this point we have decided to start sister at the regular school when she is 5. I suppose if she shows some sort of super giftedness in that year that we might choose other options, but right now it seems easiest.

I think, what if we just got our 2 boys out of the gifted program at the other school after this next year and then all 3 of our school aged kids could go to the same school? Wouldn't that be easiest? And maybe the oldest would be bored, but I'd rather he be bored than learning to hate school and being depressed. Most things he learns from reading or watching science/math shows at home anyway.

But, here we are. Stuck. We've asked our boys repeatedly if they'd like to go to the regular school, and they tell us no. I think it is a more fear of change. And I suppose after this next year our oldest will have a new teacher for 5th and 6th grade, and maybe she'll have a more fitting teaching way for the way he learns. Maybe. Maybe not. I know I don't want younger brother's spirit to be crushed when he gets into 3rd grade.

Here's a picture of all our cute kids:

They look so happy, so full of potential. We want to do what is best for them to have a good experience academic and socially. The problem is figuring out what works best. We're learning that often having a gifted child doesn't pan out socially. What use is being smart if you don't have friends, or like learning, or feel accepted?

I guess we will start into this new school year and see what comes. I know we will be making some big decisions as the the next school year comes to an end, if not sooner.

6 Years Old, Finished with 1st Grade, Are We Ready for 2nd?

Well, our little 6 year old finished the school year. He's actually going to be in 2nd grade next year! How is that going to be?

It's been interesting to watch him this past year so small and so young in his classroom of 6-8 year olds when he started out as a 5 year old who was supposed to be just in Kindergarten.

How did he do?
Well, academically he was perfect. He had all good marks and scores.
Behavior-wise he was also great. His teacher raved at how much everyone loved him.
Socially he seemed alright. He told me he had some friends and I watched him with his classmates.

But now, the big question is developmentally, how is he there? This is the one that will take some time. Sure he is smart and creative and friendly, but then here is an about to be 2nd grader who just barely figured out how to tie shoes and not very well. He can kind of ride a 2 wheeler bike, but he still can't start by himself. He still likes Sesame Street and Elmo's World, and he is still pretty clueless to how the world is.

I know this was a big issue when we were debating skipping him Kindergarten, but I think he will catch up in the end. I see all he has accomplished this year in school and I can't imagine what he would have been doing still coloring pictures about the ABC's in Kindergarten. I've seen him along his classmates and he is still pretty far advanced than many of them in terms of reading, writing, and math. And these are the year older kids. I still feel good about what we chose to do. I know he absolutely loved 1st grade and is happy he went there.

Who is to know what would have happened if we left things alone and had him go to Kindergarten? We look forward to next year where 2nd grade seems so old to a little 6 year old. I hope things will be alright.

Out of anything, I believe his gifted abilities take a more creative focus. He was always reading and writing at a very young age being that he wanted to create stories and little mini books. He found such joy in piano when he could take his reading to teach himself to read music and play.

Also ending the school year, he had his first piano recital from only 2 1/2 months of piano lessons and he was spectacular. We couldn't be more proud. If you are interested in that, here is the video:

Super Reader, Super Mathmatician!

OK, so funny picture above from a day I told our oldest to document "a day in his life" for fun with my camera, but really, I just wanted to post about what a super reader he is.

Our oldest is 9 years old in 3rd grade and he reads 200 words per minute according to some test thing his teacher does. (How they time that or make sense of that is beyond me.)

We recently went to his parent teacher conference where we got to see all these test scores and progress stuff. She says he was the only one in his class of both 3rd and 4th graders to score above standard on every single section of the state math tests. I was actually surprised that other kids in his class didn't score this high because it is a gifted class. I thought they would all score high.

Then she showed us the test they do on reading levels and I don't know why it was almost funny to me because they rate it on this line and his arrow was at the very end. But anyway, it said he scored 99% or higher than all other kids in the nation for his age in reading comprehension. It also gives you like a grade level to correspond with how well you read and it rated him as being equal to an 11th grader in their 6th month of school.

So, no, these things don't surprise me about him. The teacher seemed all surprised at how smart he is, but we're used to it I guess. Nothing surprises us with our oldest. We know he knows so much. Plus, you can never get a book out of his hands! It's that love of reading!

Allowing Creativity Amongst the Genius

Our oldest has always been the one with the incredible test scores, massive memory, super smart----we've always assumed he wanted to be a scientist when he grew up. I think this is what he even told us a few times. But recently he came home and surprised us.

At school they were having a discussion on hope. They wanted the students to tell what their dreams and hopes were, and how they would be able to reach their goal. He came home with a picture of a tree that showed the roots. He said the roots were who helped support him and then on the leaves was what his goal was.

Now, what do you suppose was on this tree? No, no scientists, world leaders, doctors, computer professionals, teachers, etc. Nope. His was "I want to be a Professional Dancer." Yep.

So, I showed this to my husband who of course freaked out, silly him! I pulled him outside while he proceeded to panic and ask what we could do to defer him from thinking this is what he wanted in life. Now, it's not what you're thinking. My husband has been very accepting of our oldest's love of dance and hatred of sports. It is not because he doesn't like it, but there were 2 concerns he had:

1-"How can he do that? He is still so awkward and a little uncoordinated, he's like me! Look at me! I'm a clutz! How can he be a professional dancer?"

and

2-"He's so smart. Why would he want to go into dancing when his mind is so genius? Wouldn't he want to use that?"

OK, now before we start getting ugly ugly comments on this blog post, I want you all to calm down. And yes, I told my husband to calm down, and good grief---our son is only 9! He is 9 years old, and if he wants to be a professional dancer, then let him have that dream! He is 9! And, how do you know he isn't going to get better at dance, or maybe his coordination will improve? He's only been dancing for a year. He's just started! You can't expect Billy Elliot in one year's time.

And, yes, he is super smart, but would going into a career in dance ruin that? Would it make his mind a waste? I don't believe that.

But here's to say---what happens to those kids that parents only let them focus on the academic and never allow them to experience the arts or music? If anything, I believe giving them a chance to develop their creativity through art, dance, or music gives them more and builds them up more as a person and allows them to be more developed and smart later.

Our oldest didn't just take up dance naturally like our second son and the piano, but that doesn't mean anything. Yes, some people have a natural gift for different things, and maybe dance isn't that, but he's doing well, and he enjoys it, and if he wants to work hard enough, then I believe he can do anything he wants to in life.

Maybe it won't pan out, and maybe he won't be that good to go professional, but as a parent, I'm going to be there to support him as long as he wants. But at the same time, we will also encourage his increasing knowledge and schooling in the academic fields as well. He can go either way. Who is to know what he'll want to do 10 years from now? I'm sure there are lots of parents out there who didn't freak out when their child told them they wanted to be "cowboys" or "race car drivers" when they grew up.

And just so you know, I like cowboys, and I think it would be awesome to be a race car driver too.

Timed Tests?? Is it really that necessary?

Our 3rd grader has to pass off these timed math tests called 36's. They are addition, subraction, multiplication, or all division math problem tests where there are 36 problems that must be finished in a minute and 30 seconds.

OK, so sure, this is a great way to get practice with your math problems, and it helps you get speedier, but must they really be timed, and for a pass or fail grade?

This has been the death of us this school year. Oh, our oldest knows all the answers, but he just can't write them quick enough. It all falls back to his thinking processing disorder that goes along with his Autism/Asperger's, but what do we do?

He simply can't process in time to meet this timed requirement. Yes, he know the answers, but by the time it gets from his brain to function into handwriting, it is just too long.

When we met with his teacher at the beginning of the year, we discussed this and she offered to test him orally, but this still imposes the same problem---he will still know the answer, but it takes his brain an extra few seconds before it can process it into words, so often it is still too slow.

Why does there have to be things timed? OK, yes, I agree with having time limits for how long you are taking an essay test or you know, you can't take forever to answer a question, but with a kid who is so smart but can't do things fast enough, where is your solution???

I guess he will never be able to be on Jeopardy or whatever other game shows are all timed, but that is a sad thing. What about all those geniuses who can't communicate or produce their answers as quickly as others? Does that make them any less of a person? Is it that important?

Obviously it is to this class he's in. He actually has passed off several of these tests orally with the teacher giving him an extra 10 seconds, but there has been no passing them off written and she insists that he finish the remaining tests written or he will fail.

It upsets me so to know what to do or not. I don't just disagree with these tests because they don't fit with our child with autism, but why would any kid have to pass off a minute and 30 second timed math quiz? I think it is great for practice, but really, should it be causing people to get 0's and fail math if they were a little too slow? I think it is wrong. If they know their math, they know it. Why do this??

I know this will be a continued struggle with our oldest. All these things that come in terms of his Autism and Asperger's seem to keep dragging him down. It's like he is at a super high level of learning and knowledge, but then because of his disabilities, the level is dropped down to a much lower level.

What should be done then? Remove him from the gifted, advanced program that he is in to a regular classroom where he would be bored and unchallenged, but able to "keep up" as far as speed, or leave him in the program and let him seem like he is dumb to the other kids?

There is no balance, and no answer we have found yet. Tuesday we are meeting with the gifted program's district coordinator to see what our options are and how having a child with a disability fits into a gifted program.

As always, if you are interested with our experiences more specific to Asperger's, see our other blog www.ourlifewithaspergers.blogspot.com.

Too Much Homework, Too Much Busywork?

Our oldest seems to be overloaded by tons and tons of homework. Since school started this year he is home doing tons of homework every day. It seems to me that his teacher thinks, "Oh, gifted students--they need to have tons and tons of work all day and night to keep them busy!" And during the day is no different. It seems like the day is full of busy work all day doing workbook page one right after another.

I used to think that it was just our son that had the worst of it because of his Asperger's maybe he wasn't getting things completed in school and so seemed to have more work, but I started asking some other parents and heard comments from other kids in his class. One boy we carpool says to my younger son often, "You're going to HATE 3rd grade because you have to work SOOOO much ALL day long and it's TONS and TONS of work!"

Why is it that some of these teachers feel that tons of work or homework is best for the gifted child? It's like they are trying to cram tons of work into the shortest amount of time. Our #1 isn't having the chance to explore, research or go in depth with any particular subject like he used to. Before, he would learn a little on a science subject, or history, and if it interested him, he would go to the library and check out all these books on it to learn more. Now, we're lucky if he's done working just to eat dinner at night. It's like they are shoving vocab and facts in the students' faces and making them memorize, but it's not really learning the way a gifted child learns.

I watch sadly as the other kids in the neighborhood come home from school and are riding bikes and playing around the neighborhood. They come over to play, and we have to tell them no because our kids have homework up the wazoo.

He's only 8 years old for goodness sake! Why can't he just be a kid?! Yeah, maybe before he was reading and doing workbooks all day anyway, but he actually ENJOYED it. It was what he wanted to be doing and learning. Now he has begun to hate school because it is all forced on him and TONS.

We've discussed things with the teacher and she says students shouldn't be working more than 45 minutes on homework and if so just don't let them finish, but then I'm sending him back to school unprepared and having more work to do in school. There is no winning solution. We just continue to work him to death and hope we can be rid of this class soon and in time before our oldest decides he hates school all together.

My husband and I are completely frustrated now and he keeps suggesting private school which I know we can't afford. I know there are good teachers out there, but it seems like a lot of them are just out to get all the tests passed off, sign this and that off, and it doesn't matter how they are learning in between.

Now, I'm not in the classroom, and I don't know everything that is going on, but something just doesn't seem right. All these gifted kids that used to have a love for learning that are now thinking of school like a trip to the dentist. It just isn't right.

Should we just put the boys back in regular school and forget this gifted program that we had so much hope for? Should we do the online schooling thing where they can go at their own pace? Why does public education have to be so frustrating? It is interesting that I have heard several parents have pulled their kids from this gifted program when they get to this 3rd grade teacher's class. Obviously, something is wrong here.

Parent Teacher Conferences

Parent/Teacher Conferences were this week, and we have been waiting anxiously for them to see how in the world our kids have been doing. For our oldest, we were hoping to not see low grades, and for our 1st grader, we were hoping to see he is actually making it going from preschool to 1st/2nd grade.

We first met with our 3rd grader and were so surprised to see that his grades have NOT taken a terrible toll. The teacher who before had marked so many points off for him not showing all his work, or for not "labeling" his answers (i.e: word problems he got all correct, but he did not write the answer as 18 "students", or 5 "ducks"--he just wrote 18 and 5) I guess had decided to regrade the papers and allow the non-perfection. I'm not sure, but she said something about how she changed a lot of the class grades.

Oh, and as far as the timed math tests, she postponed the whole class to give them another month to pass off because no one was getting them done!

So, all this stress and worry for nothing! Well, yes, he still needs to work very hard and try to get these things done, but I guess he doesn't have to be perfect. She did say that he was the fastest reader in class at 199 words per minute. Yeah, he always surprised me as the super reader. She says he's on a 7th grade reading level. Good job for #1!

Then, off to #2's conference. This is the one we were worried about. How had this big experiment of skipping Kindergarten and going into 1st/2nd grade worked out?

We were happy to see that he had 100% scores on every single test/paper/project everything except for one 90 something %. Basically his report card was just about perfect! She said she had placed him in 2nd grade math, and he was at a 3rd grade reading level, and he was scoring most of his spelling/language arts and other stuff in the 3rd grade level.

It was OK! Our little preschooler to 1st grader has succeeded. A little part of me inside shouted "Ha! Take that all you that doubted him and thought this was a terrible idea!"

I did ask specifically about his development emotionally and socially being in the classroom with kids up to 2 years older than him, and she said he was doing fine. She said particularly all the girls loved him, 1st and 2nd graders and that they all hung around him. Hey, he can be a cute ladies man! She said he was really really quiet and hardly spoke up in class, but part of his personality is that timidness, and he hasn't done a lot of things to know what's to happen since he missed Kindergarten, but it's OK. He will be OK. This was a successful "experiment" as the district coordinators called it. It's interesting too, because the teacher advised against us skipping him, yet we did, and he's doing alright.

Incredibly Smart, but Sloppy and Slow

We are having a tough time right now with our oldest. He is so so smart. We know he has such this massive amount of knowledge and ability, yet everything comes out so jumbled and messy. Yes, as before we suppose a lot of it has to do with his Asperger's that he is so unorganized, and his handwriting is so incredibly sloppy, but these little things are starting to take effect in school and with what grades he's getting.

Yes, it's important to be neat and all that, but right now it seems as if he's getting so much more sloppy with his handwriting and everything. I know his teacher counts a lot toward neatness and organization if he remembers things or whatever, and it's started to count against him.

Another thing is a big part of school this year is that things are timed. It's like you can be smart but you must also be fast. (Maybe that's why his handwriting is becoming so much more sloppy because he's being rushed.) In math it is mandatory that they must pass off these minute and 30 second timed math problem sheets. I know it is important to get to know your multiplication tables down pat, but must you insist that they pass them off in a timed test and if not then fail? OK, so I don't know how much they are going to take off points wise, but it seems like this is a big part.

It's not just this, but a lot of things are all about time, and with our oldest who has Asperger's, his connection from brain to mouth or brain to hand is not as fast as the other kids and so he is lagging behind a lot.

Oh, and one more thing--you must show ALL your work for math problems, even if you do them in your head--if you get the right answer but didn't mark a little 1 next to the tens when working out your problem, then you will get points marked off.

This is incredibly frustrating to us to see such a smart kid go down hill in school because of these little nit-picky things. Yes, I agree it is important to get kids in the habit of doing all these things a little more quickly or to show your work if you're not understanding it, or to see later where you made a mistake, but he's not making mistakes, he's just getting docked points for things the teacher wants.

My husband and I feel very frustrated and saddened at times to see such a smart kid still not be able to show his full potential, and then on top of it, it's like he's being graded not for what he knows, but how he produces it.

When he was being diagnosed with this type of high functioning autism they were telling us how stunned they were that his intelligence and academic abilities were scoring so far off the charts that they couldn't even justify telling us how they compared to others. They mapped his IQ as "in the genius range". I promise I'm not bragging. This is what they said and what we have on paper as record from countless doctors and tests. But yet here we are with our #1 being so smart, and yet as we've said before---he'll never be able to show it.

I suppose that's how the world works though. You must be fast, you must do it "this way" or "that way", and this is the way to be successful in life. Is the world going to wait for a genius who might take an extra minute to answer a question or write a report?

My husband continues to ask for other options in schooling for our kids. He says they are just going to hate school and it's not going to be enough for them. It's not challenging enough he says, but just picky and busy with projects but not really new things to learn. I continue to wait it out. I hope things will be different once the kids enter junior high and can choose a little more what classes they will take. Husband says they won't last that long. Only time will tell.