Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Beginning

HOW THIS BLOG GOT STARTED

Starting with our first child, I wouldn't say he was smart starting off, but when your Kindergartener is already reading chapter books, adding and subtracting double digit numbers, and configuring the earth's atmosphere and explaining scientific things to YOU, you realize something just might be different!



Then along comes child number 2. By now you have been around long enough to realize yeah, your first child was a lot more advanced than the other kids his age, but number 2 isn't going to be the same way. He doesn't seem to be picking up on much, until one day, out of the blue you are driving home from somewhere, and he is reading every single street sign and he's only 3. And then you teach him how to play middle c, d, and e on the piano, and the next month he is already in book level 3 teaching himself.

And then you start to think--gee, what happened here? How'd they get so smart? I didn't do anything!

And then you realize, what are you going to do now? How are you going to handle these kids who are so much more advanced than their peers?

So, after years of trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong, and dealing with teachers, doctors, principals, and the opinions of some friends and family, we decided to start sharing our story, what's worked, what hasn't, and all the fears and frustrations, as well as joy that has come with it.


Where are we Now?

So, our oldest is 8 years old right now. He is finishing up 2nd grade in a full time magnet program for the gifted. Next year he will continue on into a split 3rd and 4th grade classroom. He has done well in the program, although the first year he had struggles with his motor skills catching up with his thinking skills. His problem was yeah, he might have been super smart, but he couldn't talk or write well or fast enough to get all his ideas out. But was this a reason to remove him from the program, or not let him move forward academically? No, but it was a struggle to get him to work equally with the other kids. We had great teachers and doctors that have helped us the last year. (His Asperger's has a bit to do with his struggles, but it was great how we could allow him to finally be producing better verbally and physically all that is in his head.)Our 5 year old just shocked me over the last year and a half. Like I said again, we didn't see number 2 doing anything toward letters, numbers, or learning that raised any flags of super smartness, until just like overnight he was BAM! Super amazing genius boy! Well, now he's different than #1. #1 is so so smart in facts and science and knowing, memorizing everything, but #2 just popped in all of sudden reading, writing, and then playing the piano that shocked us the most. He missed the Kindergarten deadline by a month so had to be in preschool again this year, but I couldn't see putting him in Kindergarten next year when he's reading Magic TreeHouse books, writing his own mini stories, telling time, adding, subtracting, and doing work out of his brother's 2nd grade comprehension workbook.I figured there was nothing much to do, but decided maybe we could test him "just to see" if he really was that smart that we needed to do anything. We tested him as if he were in Kindergarten to see if he could get into the advanced 1st/2nd grade gifted program his older brother is in, and we were shocked to see he placed 3rd out of all the kids a year older than him! And these are kids trying to get into the program that have already been in Kindergarten.

So, here we are again, but this time it is a bigger struggle--the teachers, principals, and district coordinator are VERY concerned about skipping a child as far as emotionally and maturity wise. Are we bad parents if we do this? If he is like the 3rd smartest in the school district out of kids a year older than he, than why not let him go to school and actually learn stuff NEW, not be forced into Kindergarten and be bored? We don't feel like we're pushing him. All he has talked about for the last year is how excited he is about going to his older brother's school and learning all the cool stuff, not just learning the ABC's and colors like in Preschool.

They say you can have problems with motor skills. What if he can't handle all the writing? Well, #2 is already writing better than #1. #1 struggled a bit, but is super great now, and if number #2 is writing as well as 2nd grader #1, then I don't worry much.

What about the age? He's so young? What about being smaller? What about making friends? What about this and that? All the questions are rolled over and over, but in the end, it's not the school, or the year of school, or the kids ages that are going to make a child who he or she is. It's the child is going to become who THEY are. They'll still make the friends who relate to THEM no matter how old or big or small. I don't think that's going to change a kid.

So, anyway, I feel like we are BAD parents, but we gave the go ahead. You go #2! I know you can do it and you'll love all the academics! You get so excited by all of it!

9 comments:

Juliet said...

I don't think you are bad parents, if I were in your shoes I think I would have to go ahead too. I think your child should be allowed to be where he feels most comfortable.

Juliet said...

I guess I have to add that Brody says never. He said it doesn't matter how smart they are, no for social reasons. He thinks they need to have friends the same age, be with kids their same size, etc. I guess it's good our kids aren't smart, lol (just kidding).

Rachel said...

I definitely think that you should advance Caleb into the 1st/2nd year program if the opportunity is available to you. When I was going to school for Elementary Ed, one of the things they talked about was how important it is to make sure that your children continue to be challenged. If he goes into Kindergarten, he is going to be bored!

Don't worry about him being too small or anything like that. When I went to school in Maryland, everyone was 1-2 years younger than me in my grade. It honestly isn't that big of a deal. Puberty hits guys at all different ages, so I really don't think it will make a big difference in the long run. Even so, that shouldn't be a concern at all simply because your children are wonderful and they will never have problems making friends regardless of age.

Troy said...

#2 only missed first grade by one month, it's not like he is 3 and going into first grade, he will turn six at the beginning of the school year. He is also a fairly tough kid, so no worries about him being picked on by the bigger kids, plus he has a big brother to beat them up for him anyway. I'm glad that everyone except Brody is giving the right answer. I lost out on a lot because I was never given the opportunity to be challenged when I was younger, and it hurt a LOT when I went to jr high. I don't think I recovered until my senior year of high school, and in some ways I still have a hard time doing things that I don't want to do.

Juliet said...

Hey lets not beat up on Brody now...just his thoughts. They might change if it was his own child...you never know what you would do if it was you. :)

Becca said...

I don't think there is an right or wrong answer to this---it all depends on the kid and it all depends on what the parents decide too. Don't worry Mark, Troy was just making an argument.......

Unknown said...

Bravo Becca to your smart little guys! "WOW" I say no mistake they will most likely get bored if they stay were the typically would be. I think its amazing to have gifted extra smart children. How exciting!!!

Brandy said...

hi I am brand new to your blog but very interested. Where do you live that you have a magnet gifted school? I wish we had that option...I have an 8yr old daughter that I finally took out of school this year to home school and a 5 yr old son who just missed the cutoff like yours and will be totally bored in K next year. Our district (Pittsburgh) will not put them in 1st grade....ever.

Becca said...

We are in Utah, and actually we originally looked into Utah law and it says the same thing----not allowing a child to skip Kindergarten under any circumstances. Somehow we found a loophole. We had him tested as if he had already been in Kindergarten--we tested him for the gifted program of 1st/2nd grade which he scored 3rd out of all the kids a year older than him who had completed Kindergarten, so they allowed it. We were lucky they did. The school district was against it, but the principal at the school and the coordinator of the gifted program said to give it a go. Our pediatrician had the same problem with his son and they wouldn't allow his son to skip, so he put his son in a private school for 1st grade (skipping Kindergarten) and then the next year put him back in public school for 2nd grade, and so he was younger, but public school couldn't do anything because he had completed 1st grade in a private school.